January 2008

Holy crap where do I start?

I am just going to ramble off all the things that happened. My key board doesn't always worked right and it leaves off letters, so there may be lots of typos.

First the huge things. Andrew now 16 got his girlfriend who is 19, pregnant this year and she delivered a girl. They put her up for adoption and Peter's youngest brother's wife's sister adopted her. Rebecca, my sister in law and her sister are well to do. In fact their father is a billionaire!! So this little girl will live a priveledged life. The adoptive parents have been giving Heather and Andrew lots of gifts and cash. Not goo for a stoner boy.
He smokes pot a lot, is still self centered, angry, disrespectful and his mom as she puts it, is "fucking sick and tired of him." Andrew calls her a fucking cunt whore bitch blah blah blah. His mom and her husband recently went on a company paid cruise and she asked us to watch Andrew p here. Peter told her that he would have to ask me and that we are a family. He scored points big time there. I could hear her unhappiness and screaming in the background. I told Peter, you might as well tell her now, no he doesn't respect his mother or father and has even less respect for me. I am not babysitting him on my winter break.

Andrew says he is moving out with his brother who is now moving back into the ghetto apartments he used to live in with the what's her face, the b word. Jared has been partying it up and not paying his bills. H was off of work forseveral weeks for an alleged shoulder injury. I think he was just looking to get disability so he didn't have to work. he did get his job back but they have never given him back the hours he used to work. So now he has two jobs. Him and Andrew just got a job together at a BBQ place. We will just have to wait and see how that goes.

We were unable to get our house refinanced and the current lender would not lower the interest rate any lower than 8.35% or 8.85%. The payments was near $3800+ a month. So we are giving them the finger and just got approved for a new home loan yesterday. We went out house shopping during my winter break and found a house we could agree on. It is nothing fancy like what we had, but it is huge. 2700 sq feet, 5 bedroom, 3 bath, 3 car garage. Aiden loves it because it is a "stair house". We will now be living in Plumas Lake and there is absolutely no shopping there so I will have to drive into Yuba City, Marysville or Roseville to shop. Our new house paymentwill be less than $2000 a month. Big difference.

Speaking of Aiden, he is doing well. He has been a lot healthier this year. Knock on wood. I am going to put him in a new preschool and we are both excited about that. We will miss the old school their teachers and the director. She has allowed me to be so flexible as to when I want to bring him in or take him out. I am going to use them still for drop in days when I have to study for tests. I have been told several times that Aidens speaks very well and is an articulate little boy. He is very imaginative and makes up all kinds of stories.

School starts next week. I should be applying for the LVN program, but I have been too caught up in the house thing. I haven't even bought supplies or my text books yet and I go to school on Tuesday. I am taking intermediate algebra, biology and aerobics this semester and I am going three days a week instead of two. I think I will go ahead and contact my highschool today to see how to order my transcript. I am not too worried about my past record any more as I think my grades should prove I am a changed woman. I celebrated one year sobriety in Nov of last year and I am still going strong. No drugs and no alcohol. That has transformed my relationship with Peter into something really wonderful.

I nearly left him this year over the whole sex thing and well it still hasn't improved but my attitude towards him has changed. It's like we are so much closer now and united in the same goals and path. I feel a connection to him like never before and I think nearly leaving him made me realize just how good we are together. I would hate to think of starting all over dating and all that crap. Who has the energy to all that?

I am a myspace junkie now. Most of the friends on their are family and unfortunately I got into it with my cousins wife the other day. She is no longer friends with another cousins wife and she trash mouthed her to me which I specifically asked both of them not to do. So I am cutting her out of my life completely. My cousin owes my dad tons of money and he is struggling to stay clean and sober. I told his wife that it isn't very supportive to have alcohol around him. (She had her profile pic of her holding up alcohol bottles totally glamorizing it) She yelled back in all caps saying I don't normally drink and it was new years, blah blah blah. Then she went into the whole cathie thing and how she thought we talked about her behind her back and how cathie cheated on her husband with my cousins brother. I thought woman you have no right to throw stones, you cheated on my cousin and even had the other mans baby, a black man at that. What the fuck does my other cousin have to do with her behavior? umm nothing I wrote her back and told her that she is the only one trashing other people and that my cousin has nothing to do with why I wrote to her. She wrote back but I never opened the email I sent it to trash. I just wasn't goin to allow that woman to get under my skin and I feel good about that. I really wasn't trying to start an argument but it was apparent she is too defensive to be open to constructive criticism.

My dad and his gf are good and my dad just left for his yearly trip to the Mexico. My dad has helped us financially so much the last several years. He gave us another 20 grand to first try to save our house and when that didn't work to buy a new house. We bought a house with a bedroom and full bath downstairs so if something were to happen to his gf he could come live with us.

Closing today. I have to go pack and do school stuff today. Cali girl I have missed you!! I promise I will do a better job checking in.

quick update

School is great..hard though. I love step aerobics, math isn't too hard yet and English, I can tell will be very challenging and time consuming. tuesdays and Thursdays I am on campus from 8 til 3...whew long day, plus tons and tons of homework.

Our house appraised at $410k just like I had guessed. So Peter had asked his boss for a bonus of $10 and got it. It is sitting in the bank right now, my dad offered to help with $20k and then we were going to sell the expedition to make up the rest but it appears that Peter's dad is giving us $10k as well. We talked to some local realtors who project the housing market to continue dropping for the next 2 years and then we should see a slow steady climb. The more I think about it the more I think we should be done with trying to buy another house. We need to work on getting this one paid off so our kids will have something when we leave this earth.

Let's see. Jared went to work for a week in San Jose with Peter's company and is working just about 16 hour days. Peter spent the night out of town the night before last as he had to drive to Monterey then back to San Jose and it was too long of a drive especially considering the night before he got home near 8 pm and had to shower and go to bed for the next am drive to Monterey. He saw Jared working ad says he is a hard worker. I think he got a ll bent out of shape shen I told him Jared had no work ethic and was milking the system. He wrote an email to me saying he is working long hard hours and the guys like him so he does have good work ethic. So I said nothing more about his son. He he is obviously blinded by love. He went in to his normal work about a week ago at Lowes and told them he wants his job back and they said to get a release as usual and to come back the end of Sept.? What, the end of Sept.? So for now he is working for his dad and collecting disability pay. Gee don't see a problem there huh?

What else, oh Aiden is back in school. I sure missed him that first week. He has been home with me all summer and has gone back only Tues and Thurs like me, but still. His preschool diretor said they are getting a new preschool teacher for the 4 year olds. She will let me know what the curriculum looks like so I can coordinate with home schooling stuff. My dad bought Aiden a phonics kit for Kindergarten/learning to read. It does have leraning the abc in the kit so we are working on that too. People say Aiden is really smart and he is, but not with things like abc's and counting etc. He uses tons of words and knows a lot about different things, I think mostly because we discuss a lot of things with Aiden and treat him as if he is a bit older than he really is. Something that was also done with me as an only child.

Well writing all this crap has gotten boring so I will end for now.

School starts

I am thinking about deleting this whole blog. I don't have any urge to write here any more. I guess I will just let it sit just in case I change my mind.

I start school tomorrow and I am a little nervous. I always am the first day and then I am fine after that. This year will be even harder I am sure. I am taking a step aerobic class to try and get in shape, get healthy and increase my energy. I have two left feet so we will just see how it goes. HA.

Jared is so not hurt at all but isn't going back to the dr til 9/11 to get a release to return to work. I lectured Peter this weekend and said it is not his job to find work around our house so he can earn some money and it isn't his job to find work for him at his company. It is Jared's job and he isn't doing shit to get back to work. He got kinda defensive but then later I heard him talk to his ex and say the same thing to her basically that Jared isn't doing anything to get back to work to pay his own bills. Later at auntie Maria's birthday dinner I told him again that Jared is milking the system and that I have seen that sort of "you owe me mentallity" all the time at my job. I can smell fraud a mile away. Sad to say about his son but true. He is lazy and likes to play the victim at everything. What ever.

We still don't know if we will lose the house. We had an appraiser come out last week and should know today what it will take to save the house. I have a feeling we will have to come up with $40k to save it or else try to buy a new house. Who knows. I am trying not to worry about it any more because it wasn't doing me any good.

Lazy kids

Last week Andrew was supposed to come back up and work another week for Peter's company. He did't want to so Jared came up instead with the intention of taking his place. They were doing heavy labor for 16 hours a day. Now mind you this kid says he is too hurt to go back to work and filed for state disability. What is wrong with this picture. His dad is taking up fo him because h is saying no one will release him to return to work full duty until he has an mri of the shoulder. I am all look. Time has passed since either dr saw him and he is much better. Don't tell me you can't go in to the dr office and say hay I am better relesase me to rtw. But no his kid wants to milk the system and I am sorry, I hand;e Workers' comp claims for years and don't take lightly people who abuse the system. His medical insurance kicked in this week. He never went to work for Peter's co, because the boss said it was too much of a liability. On Fri Sat he worked on side jobs. No problem. He also got his insurance stuff in the mail with cards and stuff. So we told him that now he has insuranc ehe needs to call a get a primary care dr, make and appt and get a referral IF necessary and get a release to return to work. he didn't do shit. When he was leaving on Sund Peter asked me to look on line to get the names of primary dr's off the net. I didn't find anything in time before they left. So when I found a shit load of a list. I copied the info of about 15 dr.'s their names, address and tele. numbers and emailed it to Jared saying that if he can work for his dad he can work for Lowes and to get off his duff because Lowes doesn't owe him anything. He didn't even make it past probabtion befor ehe started losing time from work. He is one lazy kid. We paid him and bit to do some jobs around the house and he did a half assed job on everything. It wasn't even worth paying him not too mention that it isn't our resposnibility to provide him with work or money. That kind of shit pisses me off because he takes advantage of his dad. Peter is too easy on his kid. He says Jared isn't very smart. I kno this but it is no excuse. Everyone has been telling him what needs to be done and he doesn't because he doesn't care if he goes back at Lowes. He told me. I know he is just working it and that is what pisses me off about Peter offering him work up here. I only offered a few things to do, just enough so Peter didn't bug me and not so much that he makes bank at our house. bullshit.

There that is what has been bugging me.

As for the house, Peter asked for a $10,000 bonus from his boss (so we didn't have to sell the expedition) and his boss said yes, when do we need it? Peter told him in two weeks, so we will believe it when we see it. That will be a total of $30,000 to make up for the difference in what we owe and what the house is worth. The appraiser is coming out finally... not set yet but soon.

That bitch still has a ton of Jared's stuff because Jared decided to leave it. All those things, Peter or myself gave to him when he moved out. It was intended for him not her. He left a microwave, speakers, stereo, bed, rice cooker, crock pot, etc.

Been forever since I posted

I really haven't felt much like writing. I imagine I will eventually just stop all together.

Still no word on whether we can save our house or not. The neighbors to the rt of us with the older kids walked out of their house this weekend. I had a feeling they lost their house because the weeds in both the front and back have taken over and anyone intending to sell or rent would not have left it in that condition. Long story short. I had the chance to talk to someone that actually knew them personally and she said they had gotten behind in their payments and gave up. I get scared that will be us. Although we could financial help. I am having my cousin's wife, who workers for a mortgage office, see if she can help. The other guy is still working on our case but we are at a stand still until we have the house appraised. I still don't feel hopeful.

In any case I offered to go back to work several times and Peter says no, to go to school like I had planned. I am registered for math, English and aerobics. After this math class I only have one more that goes toward the AS degree.

Aiden has been in swimming lessons. I don't think he will be going today though. It is cold and overcast. Stragne weather. Sat it was 105 then yesterday it was warm and windy as hell. Now today it is probably in the low 60's and full of grey clouds. he only has three days left in this phase. I was going to sign him up for another class which would run into college, but I am not. He isn't looking forward to going back to school. I originally had planned on putting him in three days a week. However, I didn't get the classes on the days I wanted so technically I have clase Tues and Thurs. again. Since we are in a financial pinch he will stick to two days a week still. We have been going to bed really late and getting up late these days so it is time to get aiden on an early schedule. I start my first class at 8 am this year instead of 9. We slept until 9:40 today though. I got no sleep last night going from Aiden's bed to the couch to Peter's bed. Jared is here for a few days trying to do stuff to earn money. He has been off of work for a few months with a shoulder injury. I thought in the beginning he wasn't hurt, but was all mentally depressed, because the ex girlfriend is now dating his ex best friend and she claims to love him and shit. Yeah right. Ha Peter is callling her the bitch now. She was supposed to pay internet service which was in Jared's name after they broke up but she didn't and now it is in collections. She also bought him a ring using Jared's credit at the Jewelry store and he is having to pay for it now and she won; give him the ring back. I told Peter see I told you so. You claimed that girl could do no wrong and that it was just me yada yadda. Now he sees her real side. He was having trouble with a woman at work. The lady that does all the scheduling, payroll, accounting and also because Peter's boss let her, decisions on which accounts to actually do work for. Well in his bosses eyes this woman walked on water, when in reality she was a bitch to everyone. So I told him it was like the same thing for Jared's ex and me. Peter's co worker quit. HA good. She offered to stay on until the new girl learned the ropes but the boss said nope, your gone today. He asked for all the keys and passwords. Another co worker found a file which was paid up in full but there was no record of it. They suspect foul play. So he will be checking into embezzelment.


What else? Not much. We went to the fair this weekend. Had an okay time. Aiden had fun and that was the important thing. I didn't bring my camera and wish I had. Aiden and his buddies Bradley and Natalie all rode ponies and some rides together. We have become increasingly more friendly with our neighbors. So we really have a huge mtivatin to stay. Our kids all play together and it gives us moms a break. Natalie who is 2 adores Aiden. She looks at him like she loves him all googly eyed. It is the cutest thing ever.

feel like crying

It is not looking good for us to keep our house. We are working with a mortgage broker who is trying a pecial program thru freddie mac or fannie mae, one of those any way, for people like us that owe more than our house is worth. So far they have rejected each of our loan requests and after this last one money will come out of our pocket. I told Peter let's keep trying. Neither of us want to give up our home. Sure there are nicer ones out these days, even bigger ones that we can afford but we love our house, our neighbors and besides we have spent thousands of dollars on this home and property to make it the way we like it. In order to get out from under it we would have to buy a new home and well you fill in the blanks. I went looking this week over by the water park. There are some beautiful, upscale homes with in walking distance to the water park. 2 stories which Aiden loves and a second master suite on the ground floor for my dad if something should ever happen to Monti. It is nice Peter is open to taking care of my dad like that. Our current home doesn't have an extra bedroom large enought to accomodate my dad with an attached bathroom, like the ones I visited this week. So maybe it would be a godd thing. All I know is I am trying o stay open and positive because this has to be happening for a reason. In the long run it has to be in our best interest. If we move it had better be a good enough home for us to retire in because that will be our last shot!!!

Going's on...broke

We had pretty good weekend. We went to a grand opening of a fire station in West Sac., the Railroad Museum in old Sac and swimming at Peter's friends house. Our neighbors to the left of us, who have a 3 year old boy and a 2 year old girl, went as well, except to swim at our friends house. We took Jared, Andrew and Heather too. It was a long day and Aiden was in heaven with the trains. I certainly don't want to lose the house. We are becoming quite friendly with ourneighbors and Aiden has made some great friends with the kids on our street.

We are broke. Peter paid too much on the credit cards and didn't leave money left for living expenses so we are going to have to borrow from my dad. He has lined up jobs on the side but we won't see any money from that for a while. I offered to work and may need to depending on what the Mortgage guy finds out for us supposedly this week. I am now going to be more active in the bill paying, finance dept. because I do not trust Peter's judgement any longer. It was him that got is in this whole F'n mess in the first place, although he wouldn't agree.

Today I started the South Beach diet. I like my bigger boobs, but I hate my bigger gut and butt. So I am going to give it a whirl. The first two weeks are the hardest so we'll see how disciplined I can be