January 2008

Holy crap where do I start?

I am just going to ramble off all the things that happened. My key board doesn't always worked right and it leaves off letters, so there may be lots of typos.

First the huge things. Andrew now 16 got his girlfriend who is 19, pregnant this year and she delivered a girl. They put her up for adoption and Peter's youngest brother's wife's sister adopted her. Rebecca, my sister in law and her sister are well to do. In fact their father is a billionaire!! So this little girl will live a priveledged life. The adoptive parents have been giving Heather and Andrew lots of gifts and cash. Not goo for a stoner boy.
He smokes pot a lot, is still self centered, angry, disrespectful and his mom as she puts it, is "fucking sick and tired of him." Andrew calls her a fucking cunt whore bitch blah blah blah. His mom and her husband recently went on a company paid cruise and she asked us to watch Andrew p here. Peter told her that he would have to ask me and that we are a family. He scored points big time there. I could hear her unhappiness and screaming in the background. I told Peter, you might as well tell her now, no he doesn't respect his mother or father and has even less respect for me. I am not babysitting him on my winter break.

Andrew says he is moving out with his brother who is now moving back into the ghetto apartments he used to live in with the what's her face, the b word. Jared has been partying it up and not paying his bills. H was off of work forseveral weeks for an alleged shoulder injury. I think he was just looking to get disability so he didn't have to work. he did get his job back but they have never given him back the hours he used to work. So now he has two jobs. Him and Andrew just got a job together at a BBQ place. We will just have to wait and see how that goes.

We were unable to get our house refinanced and the current lender would not lower the interest rate any lower than 8.35% or 8.85%. The payments was near $3800+ a month. So we are giving them the finger and just got approved for a new home loan yesterday. We went out house shopping during my winter break and found a house we could agree on. It is nothing fancy like what we had, but it is huge. 2700 sq feet, 5 bedroom, 3 bath, 3 car garage. Aiden loves it because it is a "stair house". We will now be living in Plumas Lake and there is absolutely no shopping there so I will have to drive into Yuba City, Marysville or Roseville to shop. Our new house paymentwill be less than $2000 a month. Big difference.

Speaking of Aiden, he is doing well. He has been a lot healthier this year. Knock on wood. I am going to put him in a new preschool and we are both excited about that. We will miss the old school their teachers and the director. She has allowed me to be so flexible as to when I want to bring him in or take him out. I am going to use them still for drop in days when I have to study for tests. I have been told several times that Aidens speaks very well and is an articulate little boy. He is very imaginative and makes up all kinds of stories.

School starts next week. I should be applying for the LVN program, but I have been too caught up in the house thing. I haven't even bought supplies or my text books yet and I go to school on Tuesday. I am taking intermediate algebra, biology and aerobics this semester and I am going three days a week instead of two. I think I will go ahead and contact my highschool today to see how to order my transcript. I am not too worried about my past record any more as I think my grades should prove I am a changed woman. I celebrated one year sobriety in Nov of last year and I am still going strong. No drugs and no alcohol. That has transformed my relationship with Peter into something really wonderful.

I nearly left him this year over the whole sex thing and well it still hasn't improved but my attitude towards him has changed. It's like we are so much closer now and united in the same goals and path. I feel a connection to him like never before and I think nearly leaving him made me realize just how good we are together. I would hate to think of starting all over dating and all that crap. Who has the energy to all that?

I am a myspace junkie now. Most of the friends on their are family and unfortunately I got into it with my cousins wife the other day. She is no longer friends with another cousins wife and she trash mouthed her to me which I specifically asked both of them not to do. So I am cutting her out of my life completely. My cousin owes my dad tons of money and he is struggling to stay clean and sober. I told his wife that it isn't very supportive to have alcohol around him. (She had her profile pic of her holding up alcohol bottles totally glamorizing it) She yelled back in all caps saying I don't normally drink and it was new years, blah blah blah. Then she went into the whole cathie thing and how she thought we talked about her behind her back and how cathie cheated on her husband with my cousins brother. I thought woman you have no right to throw stones, you cheated on my cousin and even had the other mans baby, a black man at that. What the fuck does my other cousin have to do with her behavior? umm nothing I wrote her back and told her that she is the only one trashing other people and that my cousin has nothing to do with why I wrote to her. She wrote back but I never opened the email I sent it to trash. I just wasn't goin to allow that woman to get under my skin and I feel good about that. I really wasn't trying to start an argument but it was apparent she is too defensive to be open to constructive criticism.

My dad and his gf are good and my dad just left for his yearly trip to the Mexico. My dad has helped us financially so much the last several years. He gave us another 20 grand to first try to save our house and when that didn't work to buy a new house. We bought a house with a bedroom and full bath downstairs so if something were to happen to his gf he could come live with us.

Closing today. I have to go pack and do school stuff today. Cali girl I have missed you!! I promise I will do a better job checking in.

quick update

School is great..hard though. I love step aerobics, math isn't too hard yet and English, I can tell will be very challenging and time consuming. tuesdays and Thursdays I am on campus from 8 til 3...whew long day, plus tons and tons of homework.

Our house appraised at $410k just like I had guessed. So Peter had asked his boss for a bonus of $10 and got it. It is sitting in the bank right now, my dad offered to help with $20k and then we were going to sell the expedition to make up the rest but it appears that Peter's dad is giving us $10k as well. We talked to some local realtors who project the housing market to continue dropping for the next 2 years and then we should see a slow steady climb. The more I think about it the more I think we should be done with trying to buy another house. We need to work on getting this one paid off so our kids will have something when we leave this earth.

Let's see. Jared went to work for a week in San Jose with Peter's company and is working just about 16 hour days. Peter spent the night out of town the night before last as he had to drive to Monterey then back to San Jose and it was too long of a drive especially considering the night before he got home near 8 pm and had to shower and go to bed for the next am drive to Monterey. He saw Jared working ad says he is a hard worker. I think he got a ll bent out of shape shen I told him Jared had no work ethic and was milking the system. He wrote an email to me saying he is working long hard hours and the guys like him so he does have good work ethic. So I said nothing more about his son. He he is obviously blinded by love. He went in to his normal work about a week ago at Lowes and told them he wants his job back and they said to get a release as usual and to come back the end of Sept.? What, the end of Sept.? So for now he is working for his dad and collecting disability pay. Gee don't see a problem there huh?

What else, oh Aiden is back in school. I sure missed him that first week. He has been home with me all summer and has gone back only Tues and Thurs like me, but still. His preschool diretor said they are getting a new preschool teacher for the 4 year olds. She will let me know what the curriculum looks like so I can coordinate with home schooling stuff. My dad bought Aiden a phonics kit for Kindergarten/learning to read. It does have leraning the abc in the kit so we are working on that too. People say Aiden is really smart and he is, but not with things like abc's and counting etc. He uses tons of words and knows a lot about different things, I think mostly because we discuss a lot of things with Aiden and treat him as if he is a bit older than he really is. Something that was also done with me as an only child.

Well writing all this crap has gotten boring so I will end for now.

School starts

I am thinking about deleting this whole blog. I don't have any urge to write here any more. I guess I will just let it sit just in case I change my mind.

I start school tomorrow and I am a little nervous. I always am the first day and then I am fine after that. This year will be even harder I am sure. I am taking a step aerobic class to try and get in shape, get healthy and increase my energy. I have two left feet so we will just see how it goes. HA.

Jared is so not hurt at all but isn't going back to the dr til 9/11 to get a release to return to work. I lectured Peter this weekend and said it is not his job to find work around our house so he can earn some money and it isn't his job to find work for him at his company. It is Jared's job and he isn't doing shit to get back to work. He got kinda defensive but then later I heard him talk to his ex and say the same thing to her basically that Jared isn't doing anything to get back to work to pay his own bills. Later at auntie Maria's birthday dinner I told him again that Jared is milking the system and that I have seen that sort of "you owe me mentallity" all the time at my job. I can smell fraud a mile away. Sad to say about his son but true. He is lazy and likes to play the victim at everything. What ever.

We still don't know if we will lose the house. We had an appraiser come out last week and should know today what it will take to save the house. I have a feeling we will have to come up with $40k to save it or else try to buy a new house. Who knows. I am trying not to worry about it any more because it wasn't doing me any good.

Lazy kids

Last week Andrew was supposed to come back up and work another week for Peter's company. He did't want to so Jared came up instead with the intention of taking his place. They were doing heavy labor for 16 hours a day. Now mind you this kid says he is too hurt to go back to work and filed for state disability. What is wrong with this picture. His dad is taking up fo him because h is saying no one will release him to return to work full duty until he has an mri of the shoulder. I am all look. Time has passed since either dr saw him and he is much better. Don't tell me you can't go in to the dr office and say hay I am better relesase me to rtw. But no his kid wants to milk the system and I am sorry, I hand;e Workers' comp claims for years and don't take lightly people who abuse the system. His medical insurance kicked in this week. He never went to work for Peter's co, because the boss said it was too much of a liability. On Fri Sat he worked on side jobs. No problem. He also got his insurance stuff in the mail with cards and stuff. So we told him that now he has insuranc ehe needs to call a get a primary care dr, make and appt and get a referral IF necessary and get a release to return to work. he didn't do shit. When he was leaving on Sund Peter asked me to look on line to get the names of primary dr's off the net. I didn't find anything in time before they left. So when I found a shit load of a list. I copied the info of about 15 dr.'s their names, address and tele. numbers and emailed it to Jared saying that if he can work for his dad he can work for Lowes and to get off his duff because Lowes doesn't owe him anything. He didn't even make it past probabtion befor ehe started losing time from work. He is one lazy kid. We paid him and bit to do some jobs around the house and he did a half assed job on everything. It wasn't even worth paying him not too mention that it isn't our resposnibility to provide him with work or money. That kind of shit pisses me off because he takes advantage of his dad. Peter is too easy on his kid. He says Jared isn't very smart. I kno this but it is no excuse. Everyone has been telling him what needs to be done and he doesn't because he doesn't care if he goes back at Lowes. He told me. I know he is just working it and that is what pisses me off about Peter offering him work up here. I only offered a few things to do, just enough so Peter didn't bug me and not so much that he makes bank at our house. bullshit.

There that is what has been bugging me.

As for the house, Peter asked for a $10,000 bonus from his boss (so we didn't have to sell the expedition) and his boss said yes, when do we need it? Peter told him in two weeks, so we will believe it when we see it. That will be a total of $30,000 to make up for the difference in what we owe and what the house is worth. The appraiser is coming out finally... not set yet but soon.

That bitch still has a ton of Jared's stuff because Jared decided to leave it. All those things, Peter or myself gave to him when he moved out. It was intended for him not her. He left a microwave, speakers, stereo, bed, rice cooker, crock pot, etc.

Been forever since I posted

I really haven't felt much like writing. I imagine I will eventually just stop all together.

Still no word on whether we can save our house or not. The neighbors to the rt of us with the older kids walked out of their house this weekend. I had a feeling they lost their house because the weeds in both the front and back have taken over and anyone intending to sell or rent would not have left it in that condition. Long story short. I had the chance to talk to someone that actually knew them personally and she said they had gotten behind in their payments and gave up. I get scared that will be us. Although we could financial help. I am having my cousin's wife, who workers for a mortgage office, see if she can help. The other guy is still working on our case but we are at a stand still until we have the house appraised. I still don't feel hopeful.

In any case I offered to go back to work several times and Peter says no, to go to school like I had planned. I am registered for math, English and aerobics. After this math class I only have one more that goes toward the AS degree.

Aiden has been in swimming lessons. I don't think he will be going today though. It is cold and overcast. Stragne weather. Sat it was 105 then yesterday it was warm and windy as hell. Now today it is probably in the low 60's and full of grey clouds. he only has three days left in this phase. I was going to sign him up for another class which would run into college, but I am not. He isn't looking forward to going back to school. I originally had planned on putting him in three days a week. However, I didn't get the classes on the days I wanted so technically I have clase Tues and Thurs. again. Since we are in a financial pinch he will stick to two days a week still. We have been going to bed really late and getting up late these days so it is time to get aiden on an early schedule. I start my first class at 8 am this year instead of 9. We slept until 9:40 today though. I got no sleep last night going from Aiden's bed to the couch to Peter's bed. Jared is here for a few days trying to do stuff to earn money. He has been off of work for a few months with a shoulder injury. I thought in the beginning he wasn't hurt, but was all mentally depressed, because the ex girlfriend is now dating his ex best friend and she claims to love him and shit. Yeah right. Ha Peter is callling her the bitch now. She was supposed to pay internet service which was in Jared's name after they broke up but she didn't and now it is in collections. She also bought him a ring using Jared's credit at the Jewelry store and he is having to pay for it now and she won; give him the ring back. I told Peter see I told you so. You claimed that girl could do no wrong and that it was just me yada yadda. Now he sees her real side. He was having trouble with a woman at work. The lady that does all the scheduling, payroll, accounting and also because Peter's boss let her, decisions on which accounts to actually do work for. Well in his bosses eyes this woman walked on water, when in reality she was a bitch to everyone. So I told him it was like the same thing for Jared's ex and me. Peter's co worker quit. HA good. She offered to stay on until the new girl learned the ropes but the boss said nope, your gone today. He asked for all the keys and passwords. Another co worker found a file which was paid up in full but there was no record of it. They suspect foul play. So he will be checking into embezzelment.


What else? Not much. We went to the fair this weekend. Had an okay time. Aiden had fun and that was the important thing. I didn't bring my camera and wish I had. Aiden and his buddies Bradley and Natalie all rode ponies and some rides together. We have become increasingly more friendly with our neighbors. So we really have a huge mtivatin to stay. Our kids all play together and it gives us moms a break. Natalie who is 2 adores Aiden. She looks at him like she loves him all googly eyed. It is the cutest thing ever.

feel like crying

It is not looking good for us to keep our house. We are working with a mortgage broker who is trying a pecial program thru freddie mac or fannie mae, one of those any way, for people like us that owe more than our house is worth. So far they have rejected each of our loan requests and after this last one money will come out of our pocket. I told Peter let's keep trying. Neither of us want to give up our home. Sure there are nicer ones out these days, even bigger ones that we can afford but we love our house, our neighbors and besides we have spent thousands of dollars on this home and property to make it the way we like it. In order to get out from under it we would have to buy a new home and well you fill in the blanks. I went looking this week over by the water park. There are some beautiful, upscale homes with in walking distance to the water park. 2 stories which Aiden loves and a second master suite on the ground floor for my dad if something should ever happen to Monti. It is nice Peter is open to taking care of my dad like that. Our current home doesn't have an extra bedroom large enought to accomodate my dad with an attached bathroom, like the ones I visited this week. So maybe it would be a godd thing. All I know is I am trying o stay open and positive because this has to be happening for a reason. In the long run it has to be in our best interest. If we move it had better be a good enough home for us to retire in because that will be our last shot!!!

Going's on...broke

We had pretty good weekend. We went to a grand opening of a fire station in West Sac., the Railroad Museum in old Sac and swimming at Peter's friends house. Our neighbors to the left of us, who have a 3 year old boy and a 2 year old girl, went as well, except to swim at our friends house. We took Jared, Andrew and Heather too. It was a long day and Aiden was in heaven with the trains. I certainly don't want to lose the house. We are becoming quite friendly with ourneighbors and Aiden has made some great friends with the kids on our street.

We are broke. Peter paid too much on the credit cards and didn't leave money left for living expenses so we are going to have to borrow from my dad. He has lined up jobs on the side but we won't see any money from that for a while. I offered to work and may need to depending on what the Mortgage guy finds out for us supposedly this week. I am now going to be more active in the bill paying, finance dept. because I do not trust Peter's judgement any longer. It was him that got is in this whole F'n mess in the first place, although he wouldn't agree.

Today I started the South Beach diet. I like my bigger boobs, but I hate my bigger gut and butt. So I am going to give it a whirl. The first two weeks are the hardest so we'll see how disciplined I can be

Global warming

It was 109 yesterday and it is expected to be just as hot today. I was out at 9 am watering and sweating because it was already like in the 90's. Our airconditioning bill is going to be $400 I bet and we are broke broke broke. The effects of the house payment going up hit us hard and Peter, dummy paid well over the minimum due on all our credit cards leavng no money to live on. The entire next pay check goes to the mortgage. So we are broke for 4 weeks. I want to go back to work and he keeps saying no don't worry it will work out. WTF? When is he going to worry.

Have a Happy 4th Folks

We are just doing a small BBQ at our house with my dad, his gf, and her grandson. We are coordinating fire works with our neighbors, who will be home too.

I sure hope we can keep our house. We love where we live and our neighbors are great. We are going to start doing things together with the neighbors to the left of us. We are taking the kids to a grand opening of a firestation in West Sac, then to the train station and then over to Peter's friends house to swim. His friend Sam, his wife Sally and their daughter Taylor were over last weekend, so we were invited up to swim this weekend. I made all cold salads so I didn't have to cook and it gave me the opportunity to talk with Sally and Peter's parents this weekend.

I was really getting into juicy stuff with Harumi but then Peter's dad came in and said it was time to go so we didn't get to finish. I guess uncle solar didn't even tell his dad or Harumi that he was moving to Roseville. Thye told him not to go through with buying the house, so I am sure he doesn't want to hear I told you so from his dad.

This is my Dr.

Getting ready for the BBQ.

Since I am obsessive compulsive, it is always a major ordeal having company over. It takes me two days, plus the day of the BBQ to clean the house and prepare the food. I don't kow why or when I became so particular about having the house clean before company came, to the point they could eat off the toilet or the floor, but I know my family thinks I am wasting my time. My dad is a slob, so I know I got it from my mom. I remember as a kid that if I didn't mop the floor by hand good enough, she would make me do the whole thing over again. So I suppose I carried this attitude of perfection into adult hood.

I do not like having people in my house if you can visibly see dust on the tables. Something that happens a day or so after I polish the furniture, because we open the windows all over the house. Yesterday I went to te store and bought paste wax and waxed and buffed all of the living room furniture. I overly clean it one afternoon a while back and it left a cloudy film all over the tops of the wood furniture. I haven't been able to get it back to the original lustre since. The wax helped but my over zealous cleaning is going to force me to refinish the furniture. Something I have never done.

We are either going to have either BBQ steak, which will cost a lot, or BBQ chicken, home made potato salad, Citrus green bean salad, Harumi is bringing a pasta salad, and Peter's friends are bringing ribs and dessert. I guess Peter will be making his teriyaki sauce for the marinade. Speakin of I sure wish we could have figured out how to can that stuff. It was the only hold back from selling the stuff.

This is my last letter to auntie Prozac

:
I also forwarded a copy of all your emails to Jeff. So don't even try to twist my words around to make you look good and then try to use them for family court. I will get up there and tell a judge exactly what I said and I will bring a copy of everything.

As far as I am concerned I was still ill informed on a lot of things from both sides. And Carol, I think you know now my feelings on you saying you are going to be here and then I don't even get a call until the evening saying you will be home the next day. You ruined our entire day by having us waiting around for you. So don't even tell me Jeff is the irresponsible one and the one who doesn't inform me of things. I think the only difference is that you are atleast willing to see where you were wrong, where as Jeff appears to still believe that I jumped the gun and blamed him for no good cause. This whole thing is exactly what I didn't want. I didn't want to get involved in your guys shit. Here I am though. Smack dab in the middle.

We can't be friends again Carol. I would have liked to have been friends all along, but you became increasing undependable and unreliable and I got sick of it being a one sided relationship and I also got tired of hearing about Jeff did this, Jeff did that. Now the same thing is happening for Jeff. We have beoming increasing close ,but Carol did this and Carol did that is getting old too. There are two sides to every story, I certainly will agree to that. I have said all along to Peter that it isn't just Carol to blame. I don't know how to make it better for either side. All I know is that I don't like being in the middle. I don't like having to hear only one side and being forced to believe that that is the only truth to the story. I don't like not being able like and love both of you.

I would bet a million dollars if I had it to bet, that if both of you made the decision and follow through to treat each other how you would wish to be treated (the golden rule) then none of this would be happening. You would be getting along like two responsible, mature adults.
--
Regina


This is her response and I must say this woman is really nuts. No more explanation needed as to why we can't be friends ever again.

Hi Regina:

I agree. You and Peter get put into hellacious situations at Jeff's convenience. Since he feels you are family and 'that's what family's do for one another' he has grown extremely adept at taking advantage of you. Primarily you, since you had to take care of
Seiji the entire week. I know you care for him. In the future, charge Jeff at least $25 - $40 per day or this will continue on for sure, particularly since he has now filed with the court to not EVER have to take Seiji to pre-school. Nothing like dumbing a kid down (not with you, but when he just drives around and Seiji gets to sit in the back seat bored out of his mind). His court document states that he has relatives more than willing to watch Seiji. Hmm - wonder if that's you all.

I'm sorry I was so naive to think that you and I could be friends again. You're wicked fucked up drunk/drug personality comes out and you become one scary lady. Something that will not hold up in court - ever. Also - Family court services is not a jury court and the judge will not allow anyone to stand up and provide their opinion. Jeff tried to stand up once and the Judge vehemently told him to "SIT DOWN". So don't waste your time.

It's too bad that the entire Kosinsky family has turned out to be so vindictive, egocentric, unconscionable, and downright nasty to me. Do you all think that Seiji isn't going to catch on one of these days - it's a guarantee that he will, and he'll likely be disgusted with all of you for lying to him all along. Feel free to pass this along. I'm sick of the rest of you as well. Even my parents and other relatives have recently communicated to me that they felt there was something really off (odd, wrong) with Jeff. Borderline personality disorder is the name of his illness and he needs help soon before he destroys both of his sons, at the expense of you, Peter and Aiden, and then down on through the rest of the family.

Well, I've got enough to do here in preparing a response to Jeff's most recent order to show cause in which he once again attempts to bring up untruths that the Judge has already gotten irritated with. He even goes so far as to state that he has a "great job", (the third in less than 4 years) but then comments on how he can't pay for 1/2 of Seiji's nursery school because he is in bankruptcy. He outright lies that his family can take care of Seiji during the week instead of taking him to daycare on his days. Regina, you might want to discuss this with him

I have a life, unfortunately, you and Peter have chosen the wrong person to be in it so be prepared to be taken advantage of for the next 35-40 years, since Jeff will probably have to move in with you.

At this turn, we do not have anything more to discuss. I will be providing you a copy with the last court order (with mediation report ) and when the future one is completed I'll provide it as well as well as any other relevant information that could endanger you and your family. What Jeff did to you last week, put you in contempt of court and subject to arrest for child kidnapping. I've spoken with the DA, and if should choose to do so, Jeff could be charged with child abandonment immediately. I've been way too lenient with him, but that's over. ending.

Feel free to simply toss the 'Thank You' card that I sent. I had hoped we could be friends. I'm sorry to have gotten mixed up with such a messed up mentally ill group of people to begin with and will be glad when Seiji realizes it and gets out as well.


What do you think folks? I know it isn't even worth my time to reply to this one. Let her think she has won at getting even at me. I really didn't feel angry about this at all and I think it is because I really couldn't give a shit about her opinion.

This is the kind of shit I put up with the last few days and last week

Date: Tue, 26 Jun 2007 00:32:41 -0700
From: carol
Subject: RE: Re the strange stories we hear!!!
To:

Jeff - You are so full of doo doo.

Plus you know that this is not my correct e-mail address.
But ha! Now I know 2 of yours. Naah naah naah

jeff wrote:
Carol now has a record with the county DA for assault and domestic abuse, its the last time she hits or kicks me in front of my son and is allowed to get away with it.

The sheriff went to her door , she was was too paranoid to answer , so only my statement was taken and recorded , this along with all the verbal, phone (recorded) threats and written threats show a very good picture of who she really is. I have collected quite a record of her narcissistic and psychotic behavior.

It will be very powerful in court an/or mediation.

Seiji has also said, "Mommy burned me" and "mommy hit me." I have photos and witnesses of his injuries. So next is CPS.

She also tells me that she is no longer on antidepressants, this is probably a lie, but if true, it could be even more dangerous for Seiji. She lies continuously about her having interviews for jobs, her car is broke down, etc. She also drops Seiji off with her drug addict friend Terri, I know this because Seiji tells me.


Love,
Jeff



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: me
To: jeff
Subject: FW: Re the strange stories we hear!!!
Date: Mon, 25 Jun 2007 16:23:31 +0000




--
Love, Regina

-------------- Forwarded Message: --------------
From: Carol
To: me and carol
Subject: Re the strange stories we hear!!!
Date: Sun, 24 Jun 2007 10:26:44 +0000

HI again - I think I already addressed all the information below in my first e-mail!
The only reason I said anything to Jeff about police/sherriff's is to try to get him to understand that he's putting you all in a predicament by not letting me know where my little boy is! I am supposed to be kept informed where he is, whether he's with family or others. Jeff's interpretation of family law, the mediator's report, and the judge's orders, is not accurate (not to mention that he fully irritates the hell out of the Judge, but that's another story). Jeff really does think that if he's with family, then I have no right to know anything. He does NOT consider what is in Seiji's best interest at all, and that's the important thing that the court emphasizes over and over. Monica told me that he even used to refuse to tell her where he lived which is against both state and federal law, but Jeff is apparently exempt.

I'm very much in agreement about what you state below regarding schedules, wheraqbouts etc. Even if I were at a conference, I would provide you that Emergency number for the p eople putting on the conference as well as a hotel number! You and I are very much alike in that we want to know what store you're going to and when you're getting back. When someone is a minute late I start to panic and will call over and over. I've always appreciated that about you as well. For some of the silly things you and I have done in our lives, there are those certain rules that we are sticklers too!

I do hope to talk with you soon!
Love,
Carol
(REMEMBER - different e-mail!!!)
I wrote:
Carol,

Now I am told by Jeff that you knew before you even left town that I would be watching Seiji. Why then did you say he didn't notify you? Why then didn't you call me and let me know exactly when you are picking Seiji up? Why are you know threatening to call the cops on Jeff's family? He said you have called him again and that you are threatening to call the cops on us. For what? Taking lovingly care of your child is a crime? Since when is it a crime?

I told Jeff that it is absolutely no problem to watch Seiji. My biggest problem is just not knowing when I can expect him to be picked up. I don't think that is unreasonable request and I am disappointed that this whole thing is now totally blown up. Jeff is now pissed at me and thinks that I don't want to watch his son. NOT THE CASE. As I said, I was told one thing and then when I called to verify it, I get a different story. Sorry Jeff you didn't tell me you talked to Carol about him being here. And no I wouldn't have reason to assume that you are required to notify Carol that I am watching him. As you know, I do not share custody of Aiden so I don't have personal experience with this. Jeff you told me before that you are NOT required to notify Carol when he is being watched by family. So that is why I didn't know you told her. I didn't get a call from her stating when she would be coming so again I wouldn't ha ve reason to believe you told her. Don't know who's fault it is, but if I watch Seiji again I need to know the specifics. Seiji has been no trouble at all. I am a planner and I pay attention to detail. I don't like not knowing what is going on. Even if a different route is taken to the grocery store I will ask where are you going, I thought you were going to the grocery store. That is who I am. I want to know what is going on at all times.

Sorry Jeff that you are so terribly worried about Seiji as I stated this isn't even about Seiji this is about Being informed by you guys of what is going on.

--
Love, Regina

letter to Peter

Peter,
I am grateful Maria ended up with us for the week, as she was a tremendous help. I told her that God must have had his hand in that one. Please try to remember though, that I am an only child. The majority of my entire life I have been alone, except of boyfriends in the home etc. I am not used to having company spending the night. So for me, even though Maria and Seiji are family, it still feels like her and Seiji are house guests. I never feel like I can let my hair down and relax. Probably just like you feel like when you have to go to Monti's house to visit. I know you aren't the most comfortable there. It really is the same feeling for me when company comes over. I need a break. I haven't had a break from company since last Sunday. I have been "ON" 24.7 for the last 6 days. Then it would have turned into 7 had we still planned on this BBQ. The kids were awake past 11 pm last night needing this or that. Seiji crying for his mommy and daddy, Aiden needing gas medicine and cream for his back and then tylenol for the pain and then them getting out of bed and hitting their heads, etc.

Truly I love your family and love being a part of. I enjoy them emensely so this has more to do with me needing my space back for a few days than it does them personally or any other guest for that matter. I know my limits. Perhaps you should go spend a week living with my dad to know what I am talking about. Ha! I just saw your eyes get big and a big fat NO flash across your brain. See what I am talking about? Although by far your family doesn't talk as much as my dad, but when you get the two kids together there isn't much difference. I know you can attest to this when you walk thru the front door every night. So, with that I would appreciate a little more understanding about not wanting the BBQ on Sat. I have felt like I have been going going since before finals. I started work on the house right away, then got sick and went to Six flags any way took a short break and then I was back at it again working on the house, having company again etc, etc.--

My final letter to both Peter and Uncle Solar Am I a total bitch?

Dear Jeff,

The entire reason I asked you to call Carol was so that you could pin down an exact date of when she could pick Seiji up. You frequently had complained that Carol doesn't pick up Seiji on her scheduled days. I witnessed this myself on Mothers Day. I didn't want the same scenario to happen to me and I advised you of that verbally. I thought also by chance that if Carol knew I was the one taking care of Seiji that by chance she would want to pick up her son as scheduled. I guess I did not make myself clear. It wasn't just a matter of calling her or emailing her and saying hey by the way, Regina is watching our son. I could have done that myself.

Now I understand emergencies come up. We have one on our hands right now. I am not in a huff over it because Carol gave me the courtesy of calling and letting me know her mom was in the hospital and that she needed to wait for her brother to show before she could leave. By anyone's standards, I would guess that for 24/7 - 5 days in a row of watching two 3 year olds it is a challenge and not just because I am some self centered biotch. Maria was at the end of her patience yesterday when we had to take away the Thomas train set and put the two boys in separate rooms to play until they could play with each other with out fighting. She too can attest to this. I am not some uncaring, uncompassionate person who hates little kids. I merely had expectations that babysitting would only be for a few days and that I would have plenty of time between to take a break and then get ready for the BBQ on Sat. Thankfully Peter canc elled it for me, although it was not with out complete and utter diappointment that I am not a robot that can perform and do things for other people several days in a row. He is not very understanding when it comes to things like that. Regina

I'm mad as hell and I ain't gonna take it no mo

I don't even remember the last time I posted.

This is what has gone on. First I agreed to watch Seji for a FEW days. I told uncle Solar that I needed for him to talk to his ex and to pin down a specific date when she was coming to get Seiji because if it turned out like it does with him and she doesn't come get Seiji I will have watched Seiji for atleast 6 days until he returned on the 23. Seiji arrived at noon on Monday. Monday night he called and said her plane was arriving tomorrow. I said oh, I wasn't expecting her til Wednesday but that is fine. Her plane he said was arriving Tuesday after noon. So I didn't execpt her to show that night. Mind you Maria has been at our house sine Sunday night. Peter talked with her last Sat and found out that she relapsed and had gotten beat up. SHe was down in the dumps so I told him to ask her if she would like to stay a few days.

So any ways, Wednesday rolls around and I finally have Carol's phone number from Jeff so I called. She claims that her flight wasn't coming in until Thurs and that she will be in to pick Seiji up that eve. She said she couldn't be bothered to be told by unclse Solar that Seiji was being watched by me. I said, oh so you haven't known that he has been heresince Monday. She said he simply sent her an email stating that Seiji was at my house. Far cry from what I told him I needed for him to do. I thought I had made it clear that I would not agree to watch Seiji unless I knew exactly when the kid was being picked up. I then proceed to send an email to the both of them. keboard courage and all. Stating that the lack of their ability to communicate with one another has affected me and my family. I was hot.I told uncle Solar that he never even bothered to tell me whether or not he talked with Carol. She never even bothered to call and check on her son or to make arrangements to pick him up even after she finally knew h was here. Fucking irresponsible parents@!!
So Jeff calls me on the phone. Starts ylling at me that ofcourse he told Carol Seiji was here. I said how the hell would I have known and it was more that just telling her he as here I wanted to know when the hell he was being picked up. He couldn't grasp that concept at all. I ended up hanging up on him. He talked to Peter for a while and was supposedly worried that I didn't want to watch Seiji and that he was some how being misstreated or some shit like that. I wrote back to him and said this had nothing to do with Seiji personally thta at one point Jeff told me he never had to tell Carol that family was watching his son. So how the fuck would I have known any damned conversation went on at all. he never said shit to me. He wrote back a letter stating how surprised he was to see my "rage" and how I only think of myself yadda yadda so I wrote one last fucking email stating exactly what I have been doing for # of his family members for the last week and how I alos had plans to have a BBQ as Requested by Peter so no I am not only thinking of myself. I told him over and over I am a planner and I like to know exactly what is going on at all times. To bad he never fully could understand how it looked from my end. He drops his son off and then I don't know shit about what is going on. I told him I don't do face to face confrontations well so it was easier and more polite of me to write. I told him I know how I get and trust me it is a lot more worse for me to go at him verbally. He was all what happened the angelic lovey Regina Whcih is the real Regina? I felt like saying I am the same Regina you fucking moron just like you are the same Jeff when you yell at Seiji's mamma calling her a cunt whore bitch to her face.

temp. today

It's 86 F at 9:30 am. The expected high is 102 degrees F. I think, if I can find a suit that fits, we will hit the public pool today to cool off.

Home improvement

The last of my work is to touch up pain the walls. I went to the paint shop an asked for a gallon to match the sample I had ofthe flat wall paint. I brought it home and put it on the wall. Two very large walls and several smaller. The larger walls I had covered from the bottom to half way up the wall and several feet long. The friggin color was too light. So I took it back in and they darkened it. So I tested it on the dining room area. It looked to be amatch so I kept on covering up the first paint job. I finished it up in the bedroom. Later in the day I noticed that it in fact was not a match and was still noticeably too light. Now I am a half gallon into the wrong color. I took it in yesterday and brought it home today. This time I will do a small patch in each room and then let it dry. No more stupidity. I hope it matches because I don't want to have to paint the entire walls.

We are still waiting to here from the mortgage guy who said we may qualify for a special program for people who are upside down in their loan. I asked Peter to call the guy for an update but he said that the mortgage broker said it would take a few weeks because it is a new program. I am getting impatient, especially since we have worked so hard these last several weeks getting the house spring cleaned, inside and out.