Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Peter's sister
Peter's sister called me today. She is totally suicidal. She was also intoxicated. She takes 7 different meds from anti depressants, antipsychotics, bipolar, etc. She says she is in a manic stage and hasn't slept in 3 days. Everything I suggested she implied would not work. She said that none of her medications have ever worked. I did not have a clue as to how to help her. She asked me not to tell Peter so he wouldn't preach at her and then tell her dad and make him worry. I am going to tell him any ways because I never know when she is really serious about suicide or not. She has been suicidal many many times over the past year and has been hospitalized for it but she is saying now that she is just ready for rest. She implied that no one would care if she were gone any way. I told her that wasn't true but she insisted that she has nothing to live for. I hate not knowing how to help someone.
So far math has been easy. I wish it was that way the whole class. I also wish I would have signed up for a second class. I found out that reading would have been a good class to take from a classmate. Her counselor recommended it because it gives all kinds of study tips. I think I will take it next semester with my math class. In some ways I wish I could go full time already. The plan wasn't to start full time until Aiden was in school full time.
Peter's boss with held $1000 from his check again last week (can't remember if I mentioned) and the bastard hasn't handed it over yet. Peter made a half million sale yesterday and his boss was still an ass to him. The guy has taken atleast 8 vacations this year already and was complaining yesterday that he was having to work in the office. I personally think he went back on the booze and is moody but who knows. I know Peter is ready to tell him to "go suck eggs." Last week his boss said he couldn't make payroll because customers haven't paid up yet. So Peter went out and collected a lot of money owed to the company which leads me back to the opinion that his boss can't afford to pay him and that is why he is withholding the money. Now if the jackass would stop going on trips to tahiti and jamaica he would be able to.
I should go to the grocery store today to get veggies and a bit of fruit but I don't feel like it. I guess if I get my ass up and ready I could go to one of the local veggie stands close by. I just feel lazy. I worked pretty hard yesterday getting the house clean and now I don't want to do anything but I don't want to be bored either. Sometimes doing stuff soley for Aiden, ie the park, etc gets boring. he loves it though and I feel like a better mom when I do so I may just turn it into an Aiden day.
Peter's boss with held $1000 from his check again last week (can't remember if I mentioned) and the bastard hasn't handed it over yet. Peter made a half million sale yesterday and his boss was still an ass to him. The guy has taken atleast 8 vacations this year already and was complaining yesterday that he was having to work in the office. I personally think he went back on the booze and is moody but who knows. I know Peter is ready to tell him to "go suck eggs." Last week his boss said he couldn't make payroll because customers haven't paid up yet. So Peter went out and collected a lot of money owed to the company which leads me back to the opinion that his boss can't afford to pay him and that is why he is withholding the money. Now if the jackass would stop going on trips to tahiti and jamaica he would be able to.
I should go to the grocery store today to get veggies and a bit of fruit but I don't feel like it. I guess if I get my ass up and ready I could go to one of the local veggie stands close by. I just feel lazy. I worked pretty hard yesterday getting the house clean and now I don't want to do anything but I don't want to be bored either. Sometimes doing stuff soley for Aiden, ie the park, etc gets boring. he loves it though and I feel like a better mom when I do so I may just turn it into an Aiden day.
Monday, August 28, 2006
sponser
I can't remember if I mentioned before that my sponser has hurried me off the phone when I have called for a few months now. She will also agree to meet then not have the time or say that she had a prior engagement. So I ahve basically given up on her. I have some one picked out already but I haven't seen her at the meetings I go to so I have been technically without a sponser for a week or so. I just hope I don't have to start over at step one with the new one. I am ready to move on to step 5.
As I was driving home today I came up on our neighborhood and saw two firetrucks, two sherrif cars and an ambulance. I didn't get a really good look because the fire truck was in the way but someone had aparently wrecked into a house knocking off the corner of the house and jacked up the garage door too. I can't wait to drive down a bit later after everything has cleared and get a better look. It happened down a side street and it was the second house from the stop sign. I can't figure out how the got enough speed to do that kind of damage. The angle that it hit the house it would have had only 4 houses to pass before it hit. That isn't much time for an older car to gain speed. I still can't figure it out. There were tons of people out gawking. If Aiden hadn't been sick I would have walked him down there but it was too far of a walk.
As I was driving home today I came up on our neighborhood and saw two firetrucks, two sherrif cars and an ambulance. I didn't get a really good look because the fire truck was in the way but someone had aparently wrecked into a house knocking off the corner of the house and jacked up the garage door too. I can't wait to drive down a bit later after everything has cleared and get a better look. It happened down a side street and it was the second house from the stop sign. I can't figure out how the got enough speed to do that kind of damage. The angle that it hit the house it would have had only 4 houses to pass before it hit. That isn't much time for an older car to gain speed. I still can't figure it out. There were tons of people out gawking. If Aiden hadn't been sick I would have walked him down there but it was too far of a walk.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Shop til a fight breaks out
On thursday after class I went clothes shopping and spent an extraordinary amount of money. Mind you Peter's boss played the withholding of $1000 again but gave no forewarning this time. I had charged it since Peter said a few weeks back i could go shopping. I didn't intend to keep it all but had a hard time deciding so I brought home over $400 worth of clothes and I was going to model it and have Peter help me decide. I thought it might be fun. Well when he saw all the clothes layed out on the bed and asked how much the fun was OVER> never mind the fact that I explained I was taking some back the next day. So we got into an argument with him saying I don't understand why you do that and me explaining that I only have a short time to shop and it helps if I bring the clothes home see what matches with my existing clothes and to try them all on again and also to have time to think if I really want it. I said since I take it back the very next day it is like I never spent the money. Well we ended with me crying and saying fuck it I will take it all back. He said don't turn this around on me and I wasn't friggin trying to it was just easier for me to just take it all back and not have to hear a word about the subject any more. So he said I can keep a couple hundred worth. The next day rolls around and I decided to get up and try everything on again and see if I wanted to keep some. The nest day it was much easier to decide. Any ways I check in with Peter in the am and he said that part of reason he was upset was that he has seriously been considering getting me a ring and charging it and that money could have gone toward the ring. he said that amount could have been half....well I didn't like that much. Not getting the ring but the amount he indicating he would be spending. Am I a picky butt or what. It is just that the last ring I got was over $4000 and he didn't make near as much as Peter at the time. If Peter finances he can afford atleast a carat solitaire or more. So I took over half that back on Thursday and today I said I am not interested in the highest quality diamond and I no longer have to have a three stone setting but at the very least I would like a 3/4 carat or up, preferrably a 1 carat and it has to be near colorless. I actually looked at rings at the mall whie I returned and brought home a card with a ring and it's price. I suppose I am a little eager but the thought of being engaged finally is exciting. I was not really hppy with the ring I got last time and it was my own fault for not speaking up and not thinking I was worth it. I really wanted a carat but told him I loved the 3/4 the only difference this time is that I know all of Peter's bills and 1 carats are pretty darned expensive so if I got the same size I would still be happy. I would be over the moon though if I actually got a cart. I am not expecting it though. Peter isn't real big on size or spending a fortune on jewery despite me having diamond earrings and a custom made diamond ring and custom made Topaz and diamond necklace. I could even tell him to hold off until he could afford a carat but then I am afraid I would have to wait another 4 years before getting engaged and I would rather be engaged. Enough about me being selfish.
Peter's brother, uncle solar called me on Wednesday eve and asked that if he had to go out of town for work during the week would I be willing to watch Seiji over night and all day. I told him sure but that I am going to school and Monday night, Tuesday day and Wed night Thursday day are out because of school. So he couldn't bring Seiji up like I think he was going to ask and instead went to Ojiichan's and was spending the night. What I didn't know was that he had gotten into it with auntie prozac and he told her that she could pick him up on Thurs in Yuba City at my house. I guess that made her mad. So she called him several times that night and called and talked to both Haruni and Ojiican. She had to have known Seiji was at their house but she played this dumn game calling my house afer 11:00 pm on Peters cell phone woke me up and said is this...(my name) and I knew her voice so I was pissed and hung up on her. Then she called the house phone and I was really pissed and said look Ca..it is after 11 and we were sleeping. click. All I heard is I have to talk to you. Not at 11 you dont witch. So I ended up having to turn the ringers off, wake up Peter to have him turn his cell phone off (he had to get up at 4 am that day). So Harumi called me the following eve and filled me in on how she called their house at 11:30 and threatened to call the Sherrif's because uncle solar didn't tell her where her son was and Ojiichan told her fine go ahead and call the sherriff and hung up on her too. Poor Ojiichan is old and has a really bad heart and he had to go to the dr the next day due to an irregular heart beat. That pissed me off so I sent autnie prozac a nasty email telling her she sent him to the ER and to do us all a favor and leave the grandparents out of their mess. I also told her I didn't appreciate being woke up from sleeping and that I wanted no part in being in the middle of their mess. She sent an email appologizing but I think it is horse shit. She told Harumi that she thinks everyone in the K family is ganging up on her. Harumi told her no it isn't true but that they don't want to be put in the middle of her and uncle solar's mess. She said that since she is the mother of their grandchild ofcourse they would like contact with her and for her to bring him over just skip the BS. But unfortunately we all know she is incapable of going more than 2 minutes with out bitching about her ex and trying to put him down to get people "on her side". She says that uncle solar lies all the time, he says she lies all the time. I suppose he is just giving her a taste of her own medicine is all. They are both nasty to one another and it just makes me want to stay with Peter all the more to avoid all this bullshit. it is sucking the life force out of both of them.
We went to Sac today picked up Jared and Chrtina, took Jared shopping for chef clothes since he is taking a culinary art class, went to Japanese lunch then over to Ojiichans and ate dinner only an hour after lunch because Peter lied and said we had eaten a coulple hours earlier. He could have told her the truth so we could eat a couple hours later!!! So we all felt full and sick after dinner was over. Not too long after that we had coffee and rich chocolate cake....ugh. We were all cracking up because we couldn't let on how full we were. Aiden was the only one that ate and didn't feel gorged.
It is late late so I better get my butt to bed or I will feel it tomorrow.
Peter's brother, uncle solar called me on Wednesday eve and asked that if he had to go out of town for work during the week would I be willing to watch Seiji over night and all day. I told him sure but that I am going to school and Monday night, Tuesday day and Wed night Thursday day are out because of school. So he couldn't bring Seiji up like I think he was going to ask and instead went to Ojiichan's and was spending the night. What I didn't know was that he had gotten into it with auntie prozac and he told her that she could pick him up on Thurs in Yuba City at my house. I guess that made her mad. So she called him several times that night and called and talked to both Haruni and Ojiican. She had to have known Seiji was at their house but she played this dumn game calling my house afer 11:00 pm on Peters cell phone woke me up and said is this...(my name) and I knew her voice so I was pissed and hung up on her. Then she called the house phone and I was really pissed and said look Ca..it is after 11 and we were sleeping. click. All I heard is I have to talk to you. Not at 11 you dont witch. So I ended up having to turn the ringers off, wake up Peter to have him turn his cell phone off (he had to get up at 4 am that day). So Harumi called me the following eve and filled me in on how she called their house at 11:30 and threatened to call the Sherrif's because uncle solar didn't tell her where her son was and Ojiichan told her fine go ahead and call the sherriff and hung up on her too. Poor Ojiichan is old and has a really bad heart and he had to go to the dr the next day due to an irregular heart beat. That pissed me off so I sent autnie prozac a nasty email telling her she sent him to the ER and to do us all a favor and leave the grandparents out of their mess. I also told her I didn't appreciate being woke up from sleeping and that I wanted no part in being in the middle of their mess. She sent an email appologizing but I think it is horse shit. She told Harumi that she thinks everyone in the K family is ganging up on her. Harumi told her no it isn't true but that they don't want to be put in the middle of her and uncle solar's mess. She said that since she is the mother of their grandchild ofcourse they would like contact with her and for her to bring him over just skip the BS. But unfortunately we all know she is incapable of going more than 2 minutes with out bitching about her ex and trying to put him down to get people "on her side". She says that uncle solar lies all the time, he says she lies all the time. I suppose he is just giving her a taste of her own medicine is all. They are both nasty to one another and it just makes me want to stay with Peter all the more to avoid all this bullshit. it is sucking the life force out of both of them.
We went to Sac today picked up Jared and Chrtina, took Jared shopping for chef clothes since he is taking a culinary art class, went to Japanese lunch then over to Ojiichans and ate dinner only an hour after lunch because Peter lied and said we had eaten a coulple hours earlier. He could have told her the truth so we could eat a couple hours later!!! So we all felt full and sick after dinner was over. Not too long after that we had coffee and rich chocolate cake....ugh. We were all cracking up because we couldn't let on how full we were. Aiden was the only one that ate and didn't feel gorged.
It is late late so I better get my butt to bed or I will feel it tomorrow.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Stinky fishy kissy lips
I put on the new perfume I purchased today and asked Aiden whether I stink or smell pretty....his reply "stink" I bought Beautiful Sheer. I haven't had a new perfume since 2003 so I treated myself today. Along with some new fall cloths.
I also got the shots in between my joints in my spine today. He showed me on xray how the spaces between vertebrae are widening and how the spine itself has straightened up a little. I was told previously by his receptionist that the white areas on it are the arthritis....wrong. It is the kissy lips at the edge of the bones which are much more pronounced on the right than the left which explains why it feels like I have a rod going thru my back on the right of my mid back. Lots of fishy kissy lips going on. My low back has been bothering me today and with out me even telling him, he could tell I was having spasms by touch.
I also took Aiden to the dr today because the frequency of complaints of butt pain increased. I explained to the dr that he only goes poo the amount enough to merely stain his diaper. The dr said he isn't constipated he is holding in his poo from painful past experience. I thought that was the culprit. He prescribed a laxative to help soften and make him go. He recommended I sit him on the pot after breakfast every morning to get him in the routine of going. I advised that I am going to have another issue to deal with since Aiden never wants to use the toilet and has a fit if I try and make him. So I made sure Aiden was listening and had the dr tell him the medicine was to help him go poo and that it would make it not hurt. Aiden said, NO! So the dr kept reasuring him it wouldn't hurt and that it would make his tummy aches go away. Since Aiden absolutely loves his dr I am hopeful that did the trick.
I also got the shots in between my joints in my spine today. He showed me on xray how the spaces between vertebrae are widening and how the spine itself has straightened up a little. I was told previously by his receptionist that the white areas on it are the arthritis....wrong. It is the kissy lips at the edge of the bones which are much more pronounced on the right than the left which explains why it feels like I have a rod going thru my back on the right of my mid back. Lots of fishy kissy lips going on. My low back has been bothering me today and with out me even telling him, he could tell I was having spasms by touch.
I also took Aiden to the dr today because the frequency of complaints of butt pain increased. I explained to the dr that he only goes poo the amount enough to merely stain his diaper. The dr said he isn't constipated he is holding in his poo from painful past experience. I thought that was the culprit. He prescribed a laxative to help soften and make him go. He recommended I sit him on the pot after breakfast every morning to get him in the routine of going. I advised that I am going to have another issue to deal with since Aiden never wants to use the toilet and has a fit if I try and make him. So I made sure Aiden was listening and had the dr tell him the medicine was to help him go poo and that it would make it not hurt. Aiden said, NO! So the dr kept reasuring him it wouldn't hurt and that it would make his tummy aches go away. Since Aiden absolutely loves his dr I am hopeful that did the trick.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
First day of school
It went well today. I was really early because I thought it started at 9:00 am but it started at 10:30. I went and had a huge breakfast at Denney's, read the paper, got my parking pass, checked to make sure I had the right book and then listened to my Go Gear outside our classroom. After class I went to a meeting, then to the grocery store for fresh produce, came home and unloaded gorceries, then completed my homework. The homework was really easy. I just wish the rest of the class was as easy but it's not. he gave a summary of the coarse work and I got lost on the first hard problem. I had to raise my hand and ask if he was going to slowly explain how to do the work and he said yes, whew. After the class the instructor asked if anyone didn't know where the ligrary was. Only two of us raised our hand. He took me and another woman over to the library and showed us his office and where to get tutoring. I actually got to speak to the woman who oversees the tutoring and I told her I would be in on Thursday to sign up. I told her I want to pass the class understanding the material. I also let it be known to my instructor that I haven't taken a math class in over 20 years. I hope he takes that info and for my selfish benefit goes really slow!!!
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