Wednesday, February 28, 2007

writing

I finally finished my essay assignment. I have a feeling I am not going to be getting anything higher than a B grade, despite all the revisions. It certainly flows a lot better and I think I have all the comma's where they are supposed to be. Writing is a lot harder than I remember.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I luv school and I luv my life

Okay well maybe not luv but I like it a lot. I got my test back from math...100% Woooo hooooo. I actually missed a few 1/2 pts here and there but because I got the bonus point right, I got 2 pts added back to my score. At this point I am doing better in math than reading. I got the second draft of my paper back today as well and I am still getting 4 out of 5. She sent me home with a grammar book and told me what to omit and what to add details on. Gah. I will be interested in seeing If I still get a B.

On Sunday we went to MAD house so Peter could get his 6 year clean and sober coin at the house meeting. Regular AA and NA meetings are held there daily as well but Sunday nights are reserved for clients and alumni. It is held in the converted garage of one of the houses. On the garage wall, which would have been the garage door, it is called the dead wall. It lists all the people that either lived at CSTL or went through Fair Oaks recovery, (I did both) that have died either intentionally or accidentally from our disease. Peter and I have several friends listed on that wall. We actually saw the husband of one of the female friends, who choked on her own vomit, alone in a hotel room. She left behind a 4 year old daughter and she also had an older child(ren) from a previous relationship. He said he had their daughter on his own since she was one. They found Laurie in Tiajuana apparently od'd and as I said, choked on her own vomit. I actually lived with or was in treatment with 4 out of the 5 people I knew who had either hung themselves or od'd. I left that meeting with a lot of gratitude. Gratitude for being alive, clean and sober and gratitude that I live where I live with Peter and our son. Those people were so fun, so lively, so beautiful and so kind. How sad for those who were left behind to mourn them.

Monday, February 26, 2007

MY NEW COMPUTER IS "FREAKIN' GENIUS!"

Time to catch up

First off the new computer and printer are up and running. I love it and have already recorded a tv show. It took our friend, who works on reparing and setting up computers for a living, from about 11 am to 11 pm. The comp came with Windows vista which I really like but will need to learn more about. I am scared of the new printer. It is an HP photosmart C5180 all in one printer. It has a lot of buttons, too many buttons. The nicest part is that I can stick my camera's memory card into it and the pictures come up on the screen so I can easily see which pictures I want to print or don't want to print.

Last night we had Ojiichan and Baba watch Aiden for us and Peter wet to get his 6 year chip at the mad house. I alos stood up to say a bit about Peter as did his children. Christina was there with Jared. She hadn't seen me since Aiden's birthday last Oct. The nice thing is that she commented to me personally on how good I look. She also sent a text to Peter before we even got home that said that she sincerely hopes that we continue to stay together and that with both of us clean and sober we are an amazing couple. Well well. Apparently not taking her crap paid off. At first it was awkward but I made it apoint to ask her how she is doing and all was well.

Ah just got a call from Uncle Solar to see if we were home today and if he could bring Seiji by. I said yes but that Aiden has a cold. He sort of hem-hawed and said well how bout if we stop by for a little while. I really wanted to say no but I felt like I couldn't put him off another time. I was considering taking Aiden to the dr today because he has been sick one cold after another. Well poo I gotta go take a shower so I am ready before they get here. He is going to go pick up Seiji now.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Not coming

maria isn't coming. Her room mate put a note on her door that said something like 3 days and out, but she refused to explain what that meant and why. So Peter went over there and talked to Maria about her options and how she needs to let that dog go. Some time she needs to put herself before the dog. He recommended Mad house again and she pitched a fit. She doesn't have many options. She can't come up here, not with her dog and I would even agree to more than a couple of days. I can not live with some one who is constantly depressed and complaining and sleeping all day. No way.

I am irritated with Peter cause we were talking on the phone and he cut me off and said tell her that, not me. So I said "fine. I get it. You don't want to hear it." Then I said, "bye." I haven't eaten as I have been waiting for him to come home. It is already past 7 pm.

I did all that tiding up for no reason. Gah!!!

Grey's

That was absolutely fantastic last night. I watched both since I missed the tail end of the first one last week. OMG, I never saw that coming. They did a good job on such an unknown subject. I was glued to my seat and made Aiden whisper or he had to leave the room.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

My blog

I checked and there are 5 people reading my blog this very minute. Wow cool.

Tragic

Anna Nicole and Britney: all I can say is how very, very sad. Melt downs are real and they can make people do really awful things. I am suspicious of Howard K Stern ( ha ha I first typed kster) now though. Who the hell leaves some ones side if they have a temp of 104 or what ever it was to go get a boat. Hmm what do you think?

School, Auntie Maria, my Peter

I took my math test today and I felt like I missed a ton of problems. I am not to happy with myself. My study time that I chose was inappropriate because Aiden was home and constantly interrupted me. Then I had to break and put him to bed. When I layed down next to him I fell asleep and woke up at 1 am. So I stayed up and studied for an hour. I did not do practice problems as I have done in the past. So not only did I miss the first test, I probably bombed the second test. I am doing great with understanding the math though and am able to complete my homework with out the assistance of my tutor. I always speak up in class. (Both classes actually) Any ways I will do better next time.

Uncle solar was going to bring Seiji up late this afternoon but his work required him to cancel. Now Peter's sister is going to come over on Fri and spend time with us til Sun. Last time we hung out with her last weekend I stressed that she should come over to get out of that environment. she looks a million times better now that she is clean. Before her face was picked at so bad she would get staff infections. She always had several huge open sores all over. It was mighty gross. No sores now though. I used to hate it when she touched my child and I got to the point where I would always asked, "do you have an infection and can you cover your sores with bandages please." She was understanding. Any ways, she is trying to stay clean and is still suffering from depression. She has been bipolar and depressed her entire life. She has attempted suicide more than once and has been suicidal several times requiring the cops coming an taking her to psychiatric facilities or her father taking her to the hospital. Peter has told her nearly weekly to get out of that house (she lives with a crazy drug using person in one of those cold, dark, dingy, filthy, piled high with junk houses) I have been inside and there is no method of any sort, and no decorating. For example, lawn chairs in front of a tv set on card board boxes and other pieces of furniture or large awkward items all about the entire room. You have to walk in sort of a maze like fashion to get from one room to the next. Well enough about that. I am just glad she has decided to come. We need to see about taking her out for fun. Her long time room mate, like we are talking close to 15 years, has schizophrenia, bipolar and addiction. She hears voices, believs that the cops are watching her and getting in through the garage, setting up surveillance viewing in there because the house has camera's watching her. She will often times go out side and scream at the top of her lungs, usually a slew of swear words and finally to get the F*** out of her house. Well enough about all that madness.

I went to a meeting today as it has been a loooong time since I did. I will be going again Sunday but at the Madhouse to see Peter get his 6 year chip presented to him. I have been thinking about going up and saying something (pre-prepared speach of some sort. The difficult parts are that there will be about a minimum of 50 people in the room. Many of whom I will know and even more that I don't. In addition, when I say a speech in regards to a loved one, I always get choked up, cry and then I am unable to speak except in squeaky, unintelligible sentences. Doesn't that sound like fun. In the past Peter has asked me to come and present his chip and I always have chickened out. I do feel it is important though because out of those six years, Peter and I have been together for 5. Tons of people from the made house believe Peter and I would not make it together. Many people told Peter to give up on me and let me go because of my relapses. Many people did not approve of our relationship. Many people were jealous too. Now I can stand up there with a nice sparkling ring on my finger and a billion wonderful things to say about Peter and what he does for his recover and for his family. What a walking miracle he is. He used to cook and sell his own dope, get sex from bag whores (women who want a bag of dope exchanged sex to get it). These women must have been unclean, filthy, and would do basically anything to get a bag of dope. I imagine with Peter being on dope and the nature of that drug making you want to fuck for hours with out stopping, did so with these women. That is one of the reasons he is so fucked up about sex. I am getting hung with another woman's rope basically or many women I should say. He was also homeless at one point, lost everything he owned because he couldn't pay for storage any more, rode a bike ever where, got arrested several times, had three felonies for drug possession and paraphernalia so he he did more than two years of jail time. Now look where he is at today. Pretty fucking amazing if you ask me. He has always been the rock of our family.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

school work

I got my first draft of my essay back and got a 4 out of a 5. So today I will make the corrections and retype it. The final draft is due 3/1. I already started working on it and feel like I am making it worse....that was yesterday. Hopefully today I will look at it differently.

I also have to study for my math test. I am pretty confident that I know how to do the equations as long as I take my time and double check my work. I have a tendency to want to breeze through them with out pause. Grr bad habit. Any ways I am still enjoying school and and am feeling pretty doggone smart too.

Aiden seems like he has a mild cold. He never really got over the sniffles of the other one when we were both sick. Peter has a cold also. I am so tired of Aiden being sick. I will be recording yet another illness on my calender and if he gets one more too close to the last I am taking him in to have tests done.

The weather this year is strange. We have not had rain like we should be getting. Last month we had a freeze for several days which killed off most of our plants. Peter was pissed because he had put so much work into the yard last year. Normally at this time we should be getting buckets of rain but it really has been just cold and blustery. The forecast predicts rain for Thursday so we will see. I just hope it isn't windy because it will be a drag walking to class trying to hold an umbrella.

Now I am just stalling...off to do the damn paper.

Monday, February 19, 2007

New week

Last week was a horrible week. It was full of emotional ups and downs with it being the anniversary of my mothers death and the anniversary of my engagement to dick head. I had a whole afternoon of crying and again later that evening. Once I got that out, the rest of the week wasn't quite as hard. This week and even into the weekend is much better for me emotionally. I think Peter and I have swapped though. This weekend he became very emotional on the way home from Ojiichan's. He called his eldest son to say the end is coming and to visit as much as he can. Poor baby couldn't even finish talking to his son and handed the phone over to me. I have only seen Peter cry like that one other time in regards to his mom. This time it was more intense. I told Peter that I was there for him through this difficult time and that I want to be his net, his rock, his shoulder or whatever he needs me for to get through it.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Today was wonderful. We actually got all nekid, did some foolin around and cuddling today while our son napped this afternoon. I forgot what it was like but I made sure I let Peter know that I appreciated the attention and the affection. Nice way to end the weekend and start the week.

Our new computer is in but we are having help to set it up since we have to hook it up to the cable and we only have the one cable line in this room which is being used for internet access. Looks like we need another one so I can record my shows on to the computer. It will take me a year or longer just to figure out how to work all this new stuff. None of the kids are allowed to touch it or so Peter says. Every time they come over and fiddle with my computer something gets screwed up or deleted. The bad part is they will want to use the new one to burn cd's and for games. Nuh uh!!!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

I am so excited. I get some new Victoria Secret stuff delivered today. Woo woo. Peter didn't know it but that is what he got me for Valentines day. He says the new computer, printer and monitor was too. Piece by piece they have slowly started shipping. The 19" monitor with built in speakers is here. The printer was shipped and should be here today and the hard drive should be here around the 20th.

I got Peter a couple of shirts, chocolates and some after shaving soothing lotion by Clinique. He ended up not liking the shirts so I have to go tomorrow and exchange them. :(

Sunday, February 11, 2007

New dorky myspace

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=151846629&MyToken=76174b09-b778-4dfc-be29-d40edd11b61e

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Down and out in YC

I am down and out today. Peter took Aiden to Ojiichan's today. I told him I didn't feel good enough to go. The only thing is that it is more mental than physical. I can't even write about what is bothering me. I feel bad for staying home only because my sweet pie really wanted me to go. I think it is good for him and Aiden to bond together with out me any way.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Got the blahs today

I woke up sick this am with congestion and a really bad sinus head ache. So I missed school again today and layed in bed til about 9 am. Now I feel guilty because I am feeling good enough to be at school. I started feeling crappy last night but still had planned on going to school. Aiden still has a cold but his eyes are looking better now that he has drops. Knock on wood, I didn't get his pink eye.

Peter made a $400,000 sale yesterday. If he gets a raise, I am going to see about going to the dang dentist. I am years over due and I know I have cavities, chipped teeth, stained teeth etc. I sure would like to get some cosmetic stuff done but that will come after I go back to work and can afford to make payments.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

pink eye

I was all set to go to school today and when I started getting Aiden ready in the bathroom I noticed both eyes were red, swollen and had crusties in the eyelashes. Ah crap. I have a test today and there are no make ups. One missed test will be replaced with the percentage of my final so I guess it isn't too bad. I need to find an alternative sitter so I don't mis any more school. My dad left for Mexico today. Monti wouldn't be able to watch Aiden because she still has her eye covered (eye bleeding) and I doubt she could drive up here. Crap!

Monday, February 05, 2007

andrew, bed, computer

Andrew spent the weekend with us starting Fri. night. Andrew had gotten into a fight with his mom and step dad. I am certain it was Andrew's fault for going off at the mouth and calling his step dad mother fucker and cock sucker etc. I guess his step dad layed hands on him and shoved him out the front door. His mom called the cops but no one got arrested. So he came up here to cool off. Peter talked to Andrew about how he was oing to handle the situation on the drive home Sun and then him and Peter got into an arguement. The kid is one self centered sob. He was trying to tell peter that he didn't know him, didn't know what he was about and that he didn't need his dad for anything. Andrew claimed that all his dad cared about was money. While it is true Peter loves money and making it. That is't the only thing he cares about. Any way in the heat of the moment Peter told his son fine you aren't getting shit from me so when you get your stuff stolen lost or broken don't come crying to him.

During the week we shopped for a spare bed. When Peter snores I end up sleeping in Aiden's bed which is horrible for my back or eve worse on the couch. So yeah we went and bought a twin bed and then we are getting a daybed frame with a trundle. It cost a fortune but I shouldn't have any problems at all sleeping. They delivered it today and I am so happy I could pop. What a relief.

Peter is a shopaholic. We do not need a new computer but he bought one anyway. Guess he will be giving the kids one of the lap tops. I will be the one using the new on and it is a a desk top with all the bells and whistles. Guess I can record my tv programs off of the cable onto the computer so I won't need tivo and I won't miss my shows any more. Woo hoo.