School, Auntie Maria, my Peter

I took my math test today and I felt like I missed a ton of problems. I am not to happy with myself. My study time that I chose was inappropriate because Aiden was home and constantly interrupted me. Then I had to break and put him to bed. When I layed down next to him I fell asleep and woke up at 1 am. So I stayed up and studied for an hour. I did not do practice problems as I have done in the past. So not only did I miss the first test, I probably bombed the second test. I am doing great with understanding the math though and am able to complete my homework with out the assistance of my tutor. I always speak up in class. (Both classes actually) Any ways I will do better next time.

Uncle solar was going to bring Seiji up late this afternoon but his work required him to cancel. Now Peter's sister is going to come over on Fri and spend time with us til Sun. Last time we hung out with her last weekend I stressed that she should come over to get out of that environment. she looks a million times better now that she is clean. Before her face was picked at so bad she would get staff infections. She always had several huge open sores all over. It was mighty gross. No sores now though. I used to hate it when she touched my child and I got to the point where I would always asked, "do you have an infection and can you cover your sores with bandages please." She was understanding. Any ways, she is trying to stay clean and is still suffering from depression. She has been bipolar and depressed her entire life. She has attempted suicide more than once and has been suicidal several times requiring the cops coming an taking her to psychiatric facilities or her father taking her to the hospital. Peter has told her nearly weekly to get out of that house (she lives with a crazy drug using person in one of those cold, dark, dingy, filthy, piled high with junk houses) I have been inside and there is no method of any sort, and no decorating. For example, lawn chairs in front of a tv set on card board boxes and other pieces of furniture or large awkward items all about the entire room. You have to walk in sort of a maze like fashion to get from one room to the next. Well enough about that. I am just glad she has decided to come. We need to see about taking her out for fun. Her long time room mate, like we are talking close to 15 years, has schizophrenia, bipolar and addiction. She hears voices, believs that the cops are watching her and getting in through the garage, setting up surveillance viewing in there because the house has camera's watching her. She will often times go out side and scream at the top of her lungs, usually a slew of swear words and finally to get the F*** out of her house. Well enough about all that madness.

I went to a meeting today as it has been a loooong time since I did. I will be going again Sunday but at the Madhouse to see Peter get his 6 year chip presented to him. I have been thinking about going up and saying something (pre-prepared speach of some sort. The difficult parts are that there will be about a minimum of 50 people in the room. Many of whom I will know and even more that I don't. In addition, when I say a speech in regards to a loved one, I always get choked up, cry and then I am unable to speak except in squeaky, unintelligible sentences. Doesn't that sound like fun. In the past Peter has asked me to come and present his chip and I always have chickened out. I do feel it is important though because out of those six years, Peter and I have been together for 5. Tons of people from the made house believe Peter and I would not make it together. Many people told Peter to give up on me and let me go because of my relapses. Many people did not approve of our relationship. Many people were jealous too. Now I can stand up there with a nice sparkling ring on my finger and a billion wonderful things to say about Peter and what he does for his recover and for his family. What a walking miracle he is. He used to cook and sell his own dope, get sex from bag whores (women who want a bag of dope exchanged sex to get it). These women must have been unclean, filthy, and would do basically anything to get a bag of dope. I imagine with Peter being on dope and the nature of that drug making you want to fuck for hours with out stopping, did so with these women. That is one of the reasons he is so fucked up about sex. I am getting hung with another woman's rope basically or many women I should say. He was also homeless at one point, lost everything he owned because he couldn't pay for storage any more, rode a bike ever where, got arrested several times, had three felonies for drug possession and paraphernalia so he he did more than two years of jail time. Now look where he is at today. Pretty fucking amazing if you ask me. He has always been the rock of our family.