Heather and Andrew

unprepared boobs

I had another great day at school. My only problem was the fact that the member's assigned to my group are unprepared boobs. Two of them didn't have books, which made us share and ofcourse get behind. Even so, it was obvious to me that two of the girls, one with a book and one with out were not going to be of any help contributing to the answers. So I took it upon myself to quickly answer all of the questions I possibly could and read from my list of answers when the teacher called our group. I did so with out much consulting with the girls. The guy was a bit smarter but again didn't have a book, so by the time I handed it over to him he really didn't have much time. Any ways I am glad that I am a little bit smart so we all didn't look like idiots. Come to find out two of the people in my reading class are in my math class too. One of them was from my reading group and she sits behind me in math. She must have felt bad about not having a book etc because she made it a point of telling me in math that she ordered the book. I am using the study techniques and I feel confident that I will pass these two classes as well.

book marks missing

Crazy aunt,
I accidentally deleted a few of my bookmarked pages and included in that were both your blogger blog and your myspace link. Can you please email them to me again? I keep them separate from my other book marks so Peter can't trace them back to my blog and I guess I deleted them, all I know is they are gone. I could go through all the comments to find your link to your blog but I am too lazy. Thank you girlfriend. Glad to hear you and your family are doing well. hugs

nuna nuna nugh, I feel good!!!

It feels like I haven't written in forever. I guess I have just been busy.

School was great. I have a tutor on Tues and Thurs at 1:00 which is 45 min after my last class. I am learning a lot of great study strategies already in my reading class. Friday I drove to Sacto. and had lunch with dad, Monti and her daughter and grandson. It was her daughter's birthday so I got her a card and a gift certificate for Border's or Walden's books. She is a teacher so I figured she probably likes to read. She said she did, so that turned out to be a good idea. Dad treated us all to Red Lobster. Saturday we just ended up picking up Peter's work truck from the shop and got supplies from Sam's club. Sunday we went to Ojiichan and Baba's house. It was really nice. No one else was there so we got a lot on one on one time. Even Peter left for a while to drop of his sister, Andrew, Heather and went to go give his older son, Jared his 30 day sobriety chip at MAD house.

I believe I forget to mention that I permed my hair. Permed hair is so out of style, but I did it for the sake of managing my time better. Before it took a really long time to dry my hair with the blow drier. Even though it is shorter it retains a lot of moisture and just takes too long to dry. With permed hair all I have to do is blow out the bangs and then dry the rest a little bit. Then I let it air dry the rest of the way when I am getting Aiden ready and off to school. By the time I get to my school it is almost all the way dry so I can pick it and go. It is still so so curly. I need to get a pic and post it. The last time I tried posting pitures blogger wouldn't let me. Hopefully I can soon.

Sent an email to my aunt that was in the hospital and it sounds like she has all of her wits about her. She has short term memory loss and still has a bit of trouble walking but is much much better. She is a medical transcriptionist from her home. She is back to working 2 hours per day. I miss my family. Since my mom died nobody ever really gets together any more. My mom was the common thread that held everyone together. The whole family feels that way not just me. Sad.

I have been thinking about nursing a lot these days. Reading blogs on what it takes. My only concern are the long shifts and being away from family so I amy do it part time while Aiden is still young. MY only other concern is the multiple years of waiting to get into the program. Even though there still is a shortage of nurses they still only allow a few students to begin each fall so I may have to wait two to three YEARS, to get in. I told Peter las night that if that is the case I may opt to go to a vocational school of I can get financial aid. The problem is the $30 of gas it takes to go to Sacto and back each day. That is a lot of money. It is because we drive such big vehicles. It may be worth while to buy a small fuel economy car just so it would be a cheaper commute. I figure where there is a will there is a way. No matter what Peter told me to do what I wanted so it is nice I have his support. I dig school and getting an education. I feel so friggin good about myself. I feel even better about myself than when I was working and bought a house on my own. There is just something to be said for having the drive to get up and go, to discipline myself to study and do homework, to successfully pass, gaining knowledge, practicing percerverance (sp?) , etc..........

first day of school

First of Christina finally wrote on 1/20 (guess she doesn't have a comp any more) and accepted my apology.

First day of school went well. Aiden and I got off to a bad start though. It made me want to drop by 9 am class. He would not cooperate and was crying hysterically because he wanted to play computer games and he didn't want to brush his teeth. Nevertheless I got to school on time. It is going to be a lot harder this semester. Both teachers are very strict and have a strict attendance policy. no make up test or quizes. Whew. I am going to need all the luck I can get when it comes to Aiden being sick. He is sick nearly one a month it seems like and always seems to have a few days with fevers. Oh dear. I think both the reading and prealgebra will be good for me though. Tons of homework so I might not be on as often.

Gotta run and get Aiden and some groceries for the week or visa versa. He is probably just getting up from his nap so I guess I will shop with out him. It would be a lot quicker.

dinner delimma

I ended up taking Aiden to the dr and it is believed that he has bronchitis so I am glad I took him. He is on antibiotics and hopefully will start feeling better by tomorrow.

I should have already planned out dinner but here it is 5:30 and I don't even know what I am going to make. I have not been in the mood to cook or eat in a week atleast. Peter till won't be home for another hour or so. Aiden was easy. All he would eat is a corn dog even though he asked for chicken first. I made the chicken with peas and he refused to eat it. He went over to the freezer opened it, got out a corn dog, riooed off the wrapper and took a bite, frozen. I am sitting here eating cake. Oh now that is healthy.

sickness.

Aiden still has this gurggly cough and I am not certain whether I should take him in to the dr or not. I am leaning towards not because he doesn't appear to be feeling bad and I don't believe he has had a fever for several days. He doesn't cough often but when he does it sounds heavy. I hate those inbetween well and sick periods when I can't tell if he needs a doc or not.

Peter and I aren't back to normal yet either. I have had an entirely lazy week and I am sure my son wants to go back to school just for a change of pace. I haven't even gone to get my school books and it starts next Tuesday. I am dreading getting up so early on school days. Aiden will be the hardest to get into the swing of things because when he doesn't want to get up he fight hard.

update

I guess Andrew is up to his old tricks again. Over the weekend he was supposed to come home on Sat night but went MIA and no one could find him. He was with his friend Dan and our guess is that he is back using again full bore. Peter had asked Jared to take Andrew to some meetings this week and he has gone. I presume he is failing all of his classes again because I heard him and his ex talking. Peter was saying that the kid shits where he sleeps and fucks everything up. She was telling her that if he had gotten out of hand to go ahead and have him arrested. He also had a talk with his son over the phone and told him he had a friend that worked for the govt that could make sure he gets into the system. Ofcourse it was a lie but he wanted to scare his kid straight.

When Peter got home he said that Andrew is back doing meetings and is now on his 4th step. I guess Jared is too but I don't think he has a sponser which is sort of a shame because you are not supposed to do them alone. Jared doesn't hae an alcohol or drug problem according tohim but wants to do the program to better himself. I asked Peter if he had said anything about my apologies and he said that he hadn't even checked his email. Apparently he has met a new girl at the meetings this week. One minute he acts like it is the end of the world if him and that girl don't get back together and the next thing I know there is talk of a new girl. I personally don't think it is such a great idea to get hooked up with an addict but we will see. I just know from personal experience that it often times comes with a lot of heartache. Haven't heard a word from the winch either. Sometimes no news is good news.

martyr

This was in Peter's in box,
you dont have to worrie about me comming back into the family.. its very clear that it will just be more drama and im not welcom by somepeople.. this is what XXXXXX put on her myspace!!! i never ignored her or treat her any different when you were ther or not!!! after her drunkin incedent she just kinda stopped talking to me and treating me like crap.. but if you ever felt that i used you for money im sorry because i didnt i never liked taking anything from you... sorry i called you all the time. sorry for what ever i did wrong.. i just feel like a bad person because someone hates me so much. i tryed to make things right between us it just seemed she was always telling me whart do to with my myspace and what not maybe i looked into it too hared.. but i just knew that she still had something aginst me.. but what ever tell her im not getting back into the family so she can live happy.. i just hope shes seriously going to treat you roght this time... b ecause she did at one point tell me she wanted to marry you so she was financialy backed up... i just hope its not that way anymore. well what ever i love u and your family but people think im in this for the money ... so it was nice knowing you... hope thiings are good with your dad and i hope he has many more yrs to come bye peter!!

So this is my second apology.
I apologized last night after I had time to cool my jet but I don't think it did
much good. I know I said some terribly mean things that I can not take back
but I can try and make it right. I am not certain if it is possible to start
over from square one with a clean slate but please know this. I feel terrible
for what I said and even worse now that Jared is angry with me. I regret being
so thoughtless and vindictive. I know now I should have just brushed it off. I
know you admire Peter and meant him no harm and that is the important thing. As
for me, I am used to the kids hating me, it isn't anything new so this isn't
about trying to apologize so they won't be mad at me. This is about apologizing
to you for what I did wrong. I hope you can forgive me and if not, atleast you
know that I tried to make things right.

This is the first apology.
You never struck me as the kind of person that would let anyone's opinion get in
the way of your relationship with Jared. If I let the way Jared and Andrew felt
about me get in the way of me and Peter I would have been gone 4 years ago. For
what it's worth I am sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. If you love
Jared like you say you do and want to get back together by all means don't let
my mistake get in the way. We don't have to be best buddies but for Jared's
sake I can play nice. In all earnestness, when I was emailing you about Peter
and your blog, I was in no way criticizing you or belittling you. I just wanted
the record straight on Peter. He is a kind, loving and generous man but I know
that if anyone steps on his toes or messes with his family, he is not one to be
reckoned with. You did in fact read too much into it.

I read the email you sent to Peter and we are not the same couple you witnessed
when you lived with us. Peter didn't feel the need to show me your email but I figured you would be emailing him ,so I checked. We have grown so much
closer than ever before. We are finally the couple we dreamed we could be
nearly 5 years ago. I can recall a time when Peter's kids were telling him to
break up with me and he stood his ground no matter what they thought or said. I
believe Jared is the type of person who is worth fighting for so don't give up
on him just because I ran off at the mouth.

Apology to Jared.

I want to send my deepest apology for being so thoughtless and heartless. If I
had thought one second that me sending out such a stupid message would affect
your relationship withChristina I never would have done it, I know that I
should have just shrugged everything off instead of trying to get even. I don't
hate christina and I never have. I always thought she was good for you. I
sent another apology to her this am trying to make things right. I told her
that this isn't about apologizing because you and Andrew are mad at me that I
am apolgizing for the things I did wrong. I am hopeful that it has helped her
to reconsider being a part of the family and more importantly so we can move
forward. I am used to you boys hating me by now and if you don't forgive me,
well I will completely understand.

I wanted to say well if that bitch isn't getting back together with you and blames me for it then I know she really doesn't love you. Ooooh that would have pissed some people off.

Crazy aunt just wanted to say thanks for keeping up on all this. It is nice to know I am not the only one who sees through all this bullshit. Ironically I feel better now that all this is out in the open.

comment anyone?

I had kind of expected someone to comment on my previous post, anyone? Did what I emailed to her sound like a bitch, well that is, before she insulted me? I know it is not good for me but I still have that rolling around in my brain. I so would like to write her back and say she must have been referencing herself then, the using part because I know the brown nosing she does is to just get at his money. I am not the only one who thinks that way. Monti and I went to lunch and a movie yesterday and I told her about what had happened and she said you know why she brown noses Peter don't you. I said yes money and she said that is right. She also agreed that Peter doesn't see it because of the fact that she always has her nose up his ass and he likes it. She makes him feel better about himself.

You can take the girl out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl

First email sent to the bitch after we made nice

It appears from your section on Peter that you believe he is being run over and used by someone this very minute. Who might that be? If that wasn't your intention then you might want to change your wording because that is the impression it leaves. Just a thought.

I sent a few more emails before this that were nice but this is the one she is referencing in her reply:

Hey I know you don't mean it this way but to imply that Peter is nice to
everyone even if they run him over and use him makes Peter sound like a door
mat. You may want to rethink that statement. In truth Peter isn't nice
to everyone that runs him or his family over, quite the contrary and as far as I
can tell nobody "uses" him. His own boys may have taken him for granted now and again
but no one uses him, including myself.

The one really great thing that has come out of your separation from Jared is that Jared now calls his dad every day to talk. Peter loves it and says how happy it makes him feel that his son calls him, so if you guys get back together encourage Jared to do the calling and letting his dad know what is going on. In the past you always seemed to be the one that did most of the calling which didn't give Jared much of a chance to check in.

Any ways gotta run. We are trying to get Buzz to bread with a female today and I need to run to the store real quick. Keep up the great work. Friday is approaching.

This is her reply:

Ok so did that apology do any good? It seems that’s you still have something against me! When Jared and I were together I always told him to call his dad, I always told him his family is going to be there for him no matter what so he needs to be in contact with them more! So I had nothing to do with those choices. You know I’m not his mother to throw that on him. And about peter being used … I wasn’t intending that on his family or you. So please do me a favor STOP telling me to change my page around and do this do that!!! All I wanted was to make amends with you but you always have to bring someone down to make yourself feel like the bigger better person. Honestly I don’t think we will ever be ok with one another until you get over what ever insecurities you have or what ever hate u have for yourself! So if you’re just going to try and tell me what to do please block me or stop emailing me!!!!!

These are my replies:

I FUCKING NEVER SAID THAT YOU DID THAT TO HIM i HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST YOU NOW COMING AT ME LIKE THAT. I MERELY SAID TO ENCOURAGE HIM TO DO THE CALLING AND THAT IT SEEMED LIKE YOU DID ALL THE CALLING LAST TIME. YOU ARE MORE SENSITIVE THAT A FUCKING CAT IN HEAT
you know I was being nice. I don't know how you twisted that around in your little head to make it sound like I was attacking you or belittle you. On the other hand you have completely attacked me pesonally. So yes now I totally have something against you.
You know I have never taken a crack at you verbally putting you down. I thought why go there it is just immature. So thank you for showing your true self to me once again.

google searches find me.

Some google searches that found me: cookie dough, spooning, stauffer's lasagna, bionator. I had one person that kept coming back using the search sexless marriage and it started to give me the creeps so I edited my blog so they couldn't find me that way. eeek.

door mat

This week the winch apologized for what she says she didn't even know she did wrong. Yeah right. So I made nice back to avoid getting the see she is a bitch reputation. So any way on her website she is all I love Petr he is like a dad to me and I look up to him and he is nice to everyone even if they run him over and use him to this very minute and so I write back say. Who is running him over this very minute? If that isn't what she meant then i asked her to change it. so then she writes he is nice to EVERYONE even if they run him over or use him. So I thought a while about that disturbing statement and wrote back to her and this is what I said.
"Hey I know you don't mean it this way but to imply that Peter is nice to
everyone even if they run him over and use him makes Peter sound like a door
mat. You may want to rethink that statement as well. In truth Peter isn't nice
to everyone that runs him or his family over, quite the contrary and as far as I
can tell nobody "uses" him. His own boys may take him for granted now and again
but no one uses him, including myself."

I need to let Peter know that I apologized so that if they get together again I don't look like a bad guy. Perticularly for his son's sake. But in truth I still think she is a bitch but I will play nice to her face like I had to do for the last year or so.

Link to myspace webpage for me and Peter
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=126551450

No more groove.

I crawled into bed with Peter around 4 am. He said Oh honey your coming to sleep with me! I have to get up now. I didn't say anything just crawled into bed and snuggled with him. He moved closer to me. I then rolled over and he spooned me....I could have slept there for a million years, then the alarm went off. He pushed the snooze so we had a few more minutes of heaven. Then he got up.


Life is sort of abrupt like that wouldn't you say. It's like you found your groove and your oing a long and something throws a wrench into it. Blam. No more Groove.

Go get your own man!!

I swear that girl has the hots for my man. She did this tribute thing and got his picture off of our profile THAT I MADE on myspace. She is like oh he is like a dad and she respects him so much and how he never gives up on her, blah blah blah..read for yourself. I wonder wo she is referring to when she says someone is just using him this very minute.
Click on the prop 36 admiring one. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=16873132

Jared may consider moving in with use to get away from her and to get a job up here in the new Lowes. I think he should but on the other hand him and his brother are hanging out togethr at AA/NA meetings and really supporting each other. We will see. Peter is counting his chickens before the eggs are hatched. He wanted to start getting Jared's bedroom set up. We have an idea of what to do but Jared can come up here nd help do it since it is for him.

I got a really nice note this am. It said,
" I love you Regina. I want you to be my wife. I want to make love to you. xoxo
Peter :) I love my Aiden too.-"

I GOT AN A IN MY CLASS

check in

Peter went back to work today. I hate it when he has to go back. I get used to having him at home. Well over the weekend Heather and Andrew stayed and it was a very nice visit. New Years day we drove into Sac and went to the Roseville Mall. Aiden was overtired and a butt so we didn't get much done except have links taken out of our new watches and buy a shit load of cookies. I saw a guy I used to work with years ago. It had been years and he was like what happened to you? I told him I got out of the Workers' Comp business and that I had burned out after 11 years. He said many of the same people still worked for the company I left because we all thought it was going under and people were getting layed off left and right. They built themselves back up again and bought a bigger building. Wow things change.

Any ways we went out to dinner with the kids and then stopped at Ojiichan and Baba's. The original plan was to go to Ojiichan's for sukiyaki but it turned in to a 20 person guest list and was too much. When we arrived Michael Rebecca, Wren, Issey, (pronounced e say) and Eames were there eating sukiyaki. They said they forced their way in LOL. We stayed for coffee and it was sort of sad because ojiichan is still very weak and timid and not able to do much. Andrew is supposed to go over today and take down their Christmas ornaments, tree and decorations like he did at our house. Wow that was nice. They had our tree down and every thing boxed in less than a half our and everything above the shelves in the garage.

Both Heather and Andrew added me as friends on myspace as I have created a webpage for both me and Peter although Peter hasn't seen it. I am a bit obnoxious at the top where I have put Get your nose out of my mans ass.... and then a premade bleep that says Bitch this isn't Hoes R Us get the fuck out. Peter would not approve of that but since he hasn't shown any interest in it I am leaving it. Then last night when I logged on I saw that Christina wanted to be added as a friend. I am not allowing it though. I see that Jared is no longer on her added list and that she is advertising right on her site what kind of man she wants/is looking for. That has got to hurt Jared a lot. Peter has still talked to her here and there because her and Jared were back on speaking terms and had seen each other over the weekend. He asked her again if they were getting back together and she said no. So Peter told him to get the rest of his stuff out and store it at our house since he is having trouble with the neighbors of hers again. He owes Jared money for the phone but was not showing up for work or showing for work then leaving and expecting Jared to clock him out but instead Jared told the boss and his ex friend is trying to say he got screwed b Jared. Peter called this kid over the weekend and said now you owe me the money because I paid Jared's bill and that the guy needed to be a fucking man about it. They were his calls, he mad them and needs to pay up and that Jared is the one that got fucked over. The guys living next to Christina are talking shit about fucking up Jared's car and we know they are responsible for egging his car two nights in a row. Immature little shits. I am ready to say something soon like go after my family and I will run you over with my SUV, cut off your balls and serve them to him for breakfast. Like my dad said though it wouldn't do a bit of good and if he called the cops I would get into trouble with my record. *grins*

Still on winter break and I still don't know my grade. I suppose I will check again today.

Dad came over yesterday and so today I think we are just going to play with toys and stay home. I need to go get a few things this week but I will save it till tomorrow when I take Aiden to day care. I haven't called my sponser in ages so I need to do that soon. I always feel hella guilty when I don't call.