gone

My golden days are gone and had I known that it would zip by so fast I wonder if I would hav done things differently. I am no longer the young looking sexy woman I used to be in my early 30's. In a mere 9 years I have changed dramatically from bags under my eyes to the fold of skin and a scars from bearing a child. I used to flirt a lot more because of the self confidence I had but not any more. I feel like an old lady and whats the point except to look like a fool. Would I have quit smoking sooner, drinking, taken more care of my body and what I ate?

If anything it has helped me to settle into this relationship now knowing that he loves me for who I am not what I look like or what he remembers me looking like. On the other hand my ex treated me like I was a trophy wife and looks were oh so important to him. I had to always look my best around him or so I thought. He had an obsession with models so I never ever felt pretty enough and I always wondered why he had settled for me. I don't think Peter could spout off the name of one model. It isn't important to him.

On another note I start up school again next Tuesday. I am a bit nervous but am dedicated once again to achieving my goal. What a great agreement we have. He takes care of me now and I go thru school, become a nurse, he gets to retire and I take care of him.