Miscellanious

Hard to believe that I have gone back to school. I went and purchased more school suplies and my text book for my class this semester. I am starting with math since it is my weakest subject. I am going to complete all of them first before I take Eng 1A and after that I can apply for the nursing program. I was at Mickey D's today letting Aiden play on the playground while I chomped junk food and looked over my new book. I ran into a lady in a medical uniform who asked if I am attending school. I told her the class and my ultimate goal. She is going for her medical assisting and said that a place called Yuba City One Step offers an LVN program now with the only requirement of passing their prerequ. exams and being accepted after three or four interviews. She said it bypasses a lot of classes that Yuba College requires. The only issue is that they only allow 20 students at a time so there is usually a waiting list. I am going to check it out while still attending my college courses. Doesn't hurt to get info on it. Funny how God puts certain people in your life at certain times.

Speaking of...a fellow blogger that I found out was reading my old blog religiously has had many "it was a God thing" experiences along with her husband. Crazy Aunt...you brought tears to my eyes this am after reading what you had written about me. I thought I only had a couple readers and they have fallen off the planet so to hear that I some how touched your life felt really great. The AA book talks about that we will eventually no longer hate our past or wish to shut the door on it for we can use our experiences to help other to achieve sobriety. However, in your case it sounds like my experiences gave you the courage to set boundaries and to perhaps see the addiction process/recovery process through my eyes. Any way enough of this analitical crap. I hope everything goes well with you and Hubby. My only advice is that all this sobriety is new and to not let your guard down to early. Things may improve in leaps and bounds during the first few months which is great but just remember for the addict/alcoholic the first 3 months are the hardest. It does sound like from your posts though that your man has made some fantastic decisions and that things have fallen into place by merely making those positive decisions. I wish you the best and I am amazed at your courage and strength it must have taken to stand by your man for so many years.

Ah what else ahh my sponser..the flake like me. We have scheduled and rescheduled meetings over and over. Once one was confirmed and when I called to ask if I could bring Aiden to play with her son she said that I had the wrong day when I know I didn't because I had written down the confirmation on our emails and have her email replying a yes for that date. So she was off. Any way we finally met at an AA meeting not last Fri but the Fri before and when I went to talk afterward she said you are going to kill me I have to go pick up my son from daycare. I fell put off and put off. I know on occasions I have had to cancel for reasons such as Aiden being sick or Peter not getting home on time but dang this has been going on for months and months. I am now thinking about asking for someone else to sponser me and to get me thru the fifth step. I am done with my 4th step and feel ready to move on. Ah I will talk to some one else about it and see what they say.

I am also saddened because two of the women I went to first Steps with have relapsed and have had the phones turned off for lack of payment so I can't call them any more. Only one of them ever called me and called me often. I haven't heard from her in a few weeks now and I am worried. Her husband is still using and he pays the bills or doesn't I should say. She was struggling to get money for milk for her kids even. I really don't have any one else that I really reached out to. Well there is this one other lady that I have called before when I was still spun out on vicoden and a few times after I got clean. She is busy as heck but I could always call her. She is the one that used to live one street over with our realtor Cindy. She is a great lady and has 5 years sober. I guess I should call her and see what she thinks I ought to do. I have not called or emailed my sponser since that Friday mostly because I have been irritated with her and also because I have become flaky myself. I know I see myself in her and that pisses me off. I don't want to be the flake I was. I don't like that character defect at all!!!

Oh and I am a terrible mom. Last night I got my son to bed late because I was watching a repeat I have never seen. So I read one book quickly and told him that the monster would come if he wasn't sleeping right away because it was past the bedtime. My son bravely replied "there are no monsters." I had told him before many many times there are no monsters. He went to sleep right away anyways....I knew he didn't want to take any chances. I know that he thought there might be a chance of a monster because he said, "will he eat daddy?" I told him "no it is only little boys that stay up past their bed time." I think I get the award for all time worst mother!!!!

Have a great week.