Alcoholism

I started drinking at about eh age of 12. I experimented at home while my parents bowled. I immediately loved the effect. I continued to drink on the days they left for bowling. I would go to bed before they got home so they wouldn't suspect anything. I would also replace what I drank with water. I finally got caught a few years later when my parents tried serving drinks to friends and they indicated watered down alcohol. By then I had some of my friends drinking with me too. When I got my drivers license it was on too. I set off for party after party then would drive home drunk. I have no idea why my parents didn't suspect until much later. I got drunk once before school while waiting for the bus to come. The friend up the street was the one who provided the alcohol and got drunk with me. She was obvious after she got on the bus and the driver went and told the office. After first period started I was called out of my class. My parents were called and they took me to McDonalds and proceeded to ask me why. I had no answer why. Little did I know that I was an alcholic and that is what alcoholics do....drink. When the alcohol started wearing off I was snet back to school with a pass. Since it didn't indicate a time when I should return I cut class to have the same lunch as my boyfriend. We walked to his house where the housekeeper was cleaning. He let his friend inside to make a sandwich and we went in the garage instead. The family van was parked in there and we got in. I lost my virignity that day in that van. I was 14. He used a white condom and it hurt like hell. I had forgotten that you bleed when the hymen is broke so when I went to my next class. PE I bled through my clothes. I hadn't dressed for gym because I got there late. I asked to be excused to the locker room and had to explain I was bleeding. I am sure many people notice the blood. I changed into sweats. I couldn't wait for the day to end and also didn't want it too either. My mom was coming to pick me up and I had a hair appt to go to. My mother stayed mad at me and from then on hated that girlfriend and blamed her. Years later I told her was me that chose to drink and I did not get influenced by my friend. She still hated the girl.

We continued to have sex a lot, I got my license at aage 16 and we would park anywhere and everywhere having sex in the back seat of my families car. Eventually my mother came across a letter I had written to a friend that I sometimes felt my boyfriend was using me for sex. She found it where I hid it inside of a record album. I was confronted and my father was told. I was shamed. Before all that my mom was open about sex and said I could come to her to talk. It was quite the opposite. She was furious with me and I was no longer allowed to drive her car. I confessed to all the places we had sex, her car parked any where and everywhere, the river, his house. I was forbiden to see him.

I continued to see Gregg and as time progressed I became interested in the drugs he was using, marijuana, meth, cross tops, pink hearts, mushrooms, etc. It was on! I liked the way speed made me feel and within a short period of time I was hooked. I was working then and able to pay for my drugs but would often have to have it "fronted" till pay day. Me and my boyfriend eventually broke up toward the end of high school. One of our friends had killed himself after driving home from a party while intoxicated. He got on the freeway going the wrong direction and crashed into an overpass. It killed him instantly.

I met a boy before school got out while playing softball. He was the brother of one of my teammates. I corrupted him. He started drinking with me, lost his virginity to me. etc. He eventually wanted to start seeing other people including my friends. Luckily some of my friends said no way and told me what he was doing.

After High School I worked as a store bagger and carry out. There was a bakery inside the store but not affiliated in any way. This is where I met my next boyfriend. He partied with me for a few years but when he saw my meth addiction was too bad he insisted we move. We lived next door to meth and coke doke dealers and he thought if we moved I would stop. I just had to drive a little further to get my drugs. He eventually got caught for stealing cases of alcohol from the store. His grandfather, a millionaire lawyer, had a talk with the manager and owner stating his grandson would undergo therapy instead of being prosecured. He was never arrested and the police never got involved. After attending therapy my addiction was brought up and I was asked to join in on a session. I agreed and he told me I was an addict and that I needed inpatient treatment. I didn't have the money for that but my parents did. I didn't have the courage to tell my parents or to ask them to pay for my treatment. My boyfriend agreed to drive all the way out to their house and tell them. I in the mean time went on a run. I had the upstairs neighbor by me a six pack of beer and I drove back to South Sac to my dealers house and had a dime bag or more (can't remember) fronted to me. I proceeded to get high and then didn't want to go to treatment. I drove all around ending up near the Sacto zoo at the bigpark there. Something told my ex I would be there driving around the mansion houses. My dad was the driver. They found me and cut me off with their vehicle. My mom was screaming I just want to talk to you. She was crying really hard. They came to my car and saw the empty bottles of beer....I felt defeated and agreed to go to treatment. I thought I would just be registering then I could go home and pack. It doesn't work that way. I was immediately an inpatient and my boyfriend had to pack my clothes. I stayed clean and sober for 4 years back then.

Here I am now, 16 billion relapses later, 5 more treatment facilities and atleast 10 arrests, three of which are assault but one was dropped to probation violation and one dropped to disturbing the peace, 2 DUI's and the rest are drunk in public. I am at the 6 month mark now and haven't drank alcohol in 10 months now.