Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Just when I think it sucks

I realize my life ain't so bad after all. Considering my last post, ofcourse he has a house in San Diego, he met a 23 year old there and she is taking him to Cabo San Lucas in a few weeks. Oh but they are just friends. Yeah where did I hear that line before? Oh yeah when we were married and that was the reason I left him, He had too many fucking friends, female that is. Getting an email from him an me opening it was my bad.

Okay now back to reality. On Monday Peter stayed home sick. I told him that the jewlers up the street had a one day only sale on Thursday we should have gone because they advertised a $5k ring for $1400. Peter told me I should have told him on Thursday and he was serious. So then on Monday he tells me to go down to that jewelers and see if by any chance the sale is on. So I go and it's not but they had an extraordinary selection of designer rings. So I tried some on andtold them me and Peter had been talking about rings. So I gave them his budget of $3000 and what they did was use the $3 k as the middle mark and then I tried on rings that were less than, at $3kand over $3K. I fell in love with a lot of rings but in the end the one that did not actually have a center stone yet was only $895 and had accent stones on the side. They put in different center stones for me to see and then in the end Peter can decide how much he wants to spend on the center stone. I put back the most expensive one which looks a lot like this (isn't it just friggin gorgeous?) but if I remember it is round instead. I think I will go back and select it again. Yesterday Peter came home early from work and we went and picked up Aiden together (never did that before) who was dirty and had a dirty diaper. (no he isn't trained yet - he refuses to use the big potty) Apparently Peter wanted to see his daycare finally. On the way home Peter said too bad Aiden is filthy he was going to take me to that jewelers to look at rings. I told him it is just as well because the store is closed until Thursday because they are going to a diamond show. I couldn't believe my ears! I suggested that we comparison shop because that store may be expensive and I might get a better deal elsewhere. It makes me want to go to the mall and look at rings, rings, rings,. I haven't worn an engagement ring in atleast 6 years maybe more? It is practically all I can think about now. Yes I am materialistic I admit it!! I'm hooked! I was looking at rings on the net last night past 12:00.

On to other things. I got 100% on my test from last week. I was thrilled to death. So this Thursday is the test on all of Chapter one which has sections from 1.1 to 1.9. I have studying and home work to do today. Then all of the homework will be turned in on Thursday as well. I have filled almost an entire single subject notebook with homework.

I know my dad and Peter are proud of me. In fact I got a kitchen counter note like I do almost every morning from Peter that said, "Thank you Regina for all you do. You really have come a long way" and long was underlined. Hell I am proud of me.

Yesterday's AA topic was acceptance but it veered off on the subject of problems other than alcohol which require medicine and how some people consider that as not having sobriety. As usual I got called on and boy did I let out some steam. I told the story of my experience at the recovery center and how after several months of attending I was told I could not take my meds and come as it was addictive. So advised how I tired to not use it for my pain and decided I could not live like that and left the treatment. So I told the meeting that "I continue to take my medication daily that I do not abuse it and if anyone thinks I am not clean then F you you can kiss my sweet ass." I said "I have not had a drink in 11 months and I have not drugged for 8 months." That was that. I had turned red when I spoke as I always do. I had said that I hate sharing but know I need to for my program and others. I said I thought I always sounded like a blubbering idiot. After I had spoken to a male friend (Not that kind! naughty thinker you) and he said that I speak very well, that he feels a God conscience from me and that I glow these days. He always gets like goose bumps or fuzzy's when I speak. That really really made me feel good even though I do not see it. He told me that he gets told the same thing and doesn't see it so he believes it isn't for us to see it is for others only. That was an interesting comment. I gave him a similar compliment because he always seems to say something I need to hear.

1 comment:

Just Me said...

I think that if the medications you take are for a medical condition that can not be controlled any other way, you are clean & sober. I also have back problems, and I know the pain! There is no living with it. I believe that as long as you are doing as prescribed by a physician, you are doing the right thing. But it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, It only matters what you know in your heart! Keep on doing what your doing! I am proud of you too! :)
I knew you'd do well in school! Congrats on you 100%!!!